Day 83-College Apps...WOOP WOOP!!!!

Hey guys,

     So, if you know me well, you know that I have essentially two ways of making decisions. With bigger "life" decisions, I really REALLY struggle with making a decision, because I get overwhelmed going over the pros and cons in my head. I am much more likely to just pick one, without really giving it much of a second glace, instead of considering all the pros and cons, of course, it drives my parents CRAZY. So, I'm either very indecisive, or I will make a split second decision, and refuse to consider anything else. But today, I took one little baby step outside of my comfort zone, I had completely completed my Wheaton app, but I intentionally did not turn it in. Instead, I prayed about it, I talked to my parents and friends about it, and I even made a pros and cons LIST(it is truly a miracle that I did that without being driven crazy), and then, when I knew in my heart that this WAS what I wanted to do, I turned it in. And that day, was today! :) I am so proud of myself for being able to rationally consider the future, without getting overwhelmed or discouraged, and being able to handle this decision maturely, and in the most God-honoring, and parent-honoring way. Of course, I won't hear back from Wheaton for at LEAST a few months, but honestly? I know that whatever the outcome is, that it is God's will. I know that being rejected will be heartbreaking, but there are other options. However, I also know that being accepted will come with more fears and stress about being 11 hours away from my parents and family for such a long time, but I also know that whatever happens, God's got me. God will provide, whether I end up going to Wheaton or not, God will either provide me with the confidence and comfort to leave home, or another door will be opened for me. In the meantime, today was a major victory for me, and it was just a reminder of how much I've changed, just between this fall and last fall/spring as I was applying for colleges. I was very impulsive, and very stuck in my ways, convinced that my "decision" was the best one. But when it comes down to it, the only decision I made last fall and spring was out of fear of the future, and the overwhelming importance of the college apps, so I rushed through it. I really believe that the approach I took this fall was not only the more mature one, but it was also the one that provided me with the security that I was following God's calling for me, and I am at peace with my future, whatever happens, which is rare for me. So, I will just be joyful for that! :)

<3 Always,
Rose