So, I'm gonna be honest(as usual) and just say, today was NOT a good day. Today was just one of those days where it takes an immense amount of effort even to get out of bed. If you have struggled with grief, or with depression, you know what I mean. There are days when you are just like, FORGET THIS, I'M DONE!! And that, is when you call in your lifelines. For me, that lifeline usually varies depending on what SPECIFICALLY is bothering me, but today, it was Kady. Although Kady and I haven't spent a lot of time together, she is one of the only people in my life outside of my family that knows what it feels like to lose a loved one. She knows what it feels like to be so frustrated and angry with God that you just feel like, Why would he even let this happen to me in the first place? She knows what it feels like to have a day where you feel like you're on the battle field of the Hunger Games fighting for your life, meanwhile the game makers are sitting there building more barriers...Anyways, I was able to talk to Kady for a bit tonight, and something inside me just said, "And THIS, Rose, is why the Lord gave us a community!" She was able to encourage me, even if it was only for a little bit, she was able to remind me that there is INDEED a light at the end of this tunnel, and that light is GOD, so hold on, fight the good fight, and give it all you've got, because you don't want to be that person who just nonchalantly walks across the finish line like nothing happened! At the same time, I need to realize that life is not about the final destination, it's not about who crosses the finish line first, it's about the journey. It's about learning to love life, love God, and love others, as he first loved us. At the end of your life, are YOU going to regret not doing something in your life?...I know I'm not!
All this to say, Kady thank you. Thank you for being a light to me, for encouraging me on days like today. Thank you for loving me, and welcoming me in as your friend so quickly. I am so grateful that I have you, I have someone who knows the hurt and the pain that I'm going through, and that I've already gone through, but really, I know who I should be grateful to, God, our creator and our Lord. God brought us together to help each other through this terrible process that many of our friends and/or family can't relate to, God wants us to know that we're not alone. Kady, I truly saw that tonight, and it gave me such peace and comfort to know that no matter HOW bad things get, no matter WHAT life throws my way, YOU will always be there when I need you, because I am NEVER alone!
<3 Always,
Rose
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