Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Day 196-197: Doing the best I can...

Hey guys,

     So, you haven't heard from me in a few days,but there's a good reason for that! These past two days, I have been DROWNING in schoolwork. My American History teacher made an announcement on Monday, that we would be having a test on Unit 1 on Wednesday instead of NEXT Wednesday. So, essentially, she gave us two days to read 250 pages of an American History text...FUN. To make things just a TAD bit more interesting, I didn't even HAVE the textbook yet! I had two days to read 250 pages of a book I didn't even HAVE! So, being the good and responsible student that I am(or I try to be...), I emailed the teacher and asked for an extension on the test, she responded and basically said, "Suck it up, your library probably has one. Good luck..." UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, the next morning(TUESDAY!), I went over to the local library, and guess what? They didn't have it EITHER. Finally, I was desperate, I was like, "PLEASE, there's GOT to be an ebook of this text SOMEWHERE!" So, I ended up downloading the Kindle reading app onto my PC, and downloading a 7 day trial of the book. 7 hours later, it's Tuesday night, I have a job interview, and I'm a bit shy of halfway through the assigned reading...great...Anyways, Tuesday night, I was exhausted, I had been at the library since 10 that morning, and I just wanted to relax, meaning I KNEW the next morning I had a crap ton of work to do. So, this morning, I woke up at 7:30, and if you know me really well, you know that this is a BIG deal, because I am NOT a morning person. I made myself my very FIRST cup of coffee, knowing it was going to be a LOOONG day, and got to work. Eight and a half hours later, I was DONE. I was ready to take the test, which was open book, so because I did all the reading and took sufficient notes, I figured it would be no problem, yeah, I figured WRONG. I ended up getting a 68% on it, after FIFTEEN HOURS OF READING AND NOTE TAKING AND STUDYING, I WAS TWO POINTS AWAY FROM A PASSING GRADE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was just one of those moments where I was just like, alright, I'm going to freaking tear my head off now... To wrap up this wonderful journey of my nonexistant textbook, we logged onto Amazon tonight to see if we could track it...it's in Wheaton...FANTASTIC...

      Although this may seem like me just ranting(mainly because it sort of is), and not much to be happy about, there IS a silver lining. In the past two days, I've surprised MYSELF with how responsible, dedicated, and just a good student that I was. I understood the importance of this class, this course, and yes, that stupid gosh darn textbook, I CARED about doing well in the course, not for my teachers, or my friends, not even for my PARENTS, but simply for ME, because I KNOW I am a good student, and I wanted my grades to reflect that. All this worry and headache about school this past week has just reminded me of how lucky we are to have a savior, we are saved, no matter what! The grades that we get in school do not mean ANYTHING in the long run, they are two numbers that teacher use to rank their students, they are meaningless. Even in the working world, do you really think you're going to go into an interview and the employee's going to look at your college grades and say, "Well, looks like you failed a test back in your freshman year, I can't give you the job."? Come on, let's be real. Yes, school DOES prepare you for the real world, but the pressure that schools, teachers, parents, and even STUDENTS put on making good grades? That doesn't prepare you for the real world. There will be times when even big executives of huge companies make mistakes, or give the wrong answer to something, and do you think they get fired on the spot? So then, WHY may I ask does this generation of students, teachers, and parents place SUCH a big emphasis on being the best, or on making 100%? News flash people:humans aren't perfect, and neither is LIFE, so this emphasis that we put on being perfect all day every day is unrealistic and unhealthy!! Instead, love yourself for who you are, EMBRACE those imperfections! EMBRACE those not so perfect test scores! All I can say is this, I'm proud of myself, because I made the best out of a sticky, messy, frustrating, REAL LIFE, problem, and I handled it with grace and maturity. Not only that, but I put MY best effort into studying for this test, in the most trying of circumstances, I read ALL of the chapters(which I'm sure is more than some people did), and I did my best with the tools that I had. In my mind, I worked WAY harder than a D+ on this Unit, and on this test, but I just have to remember, that D+ is just a number, it is not indicative of how much time and effort I put into this unit. I did my best, and that's all I, or anyone else for that matter, could ask of me. I will now step down from the soapbox...;)

<3 Always,
Rose

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