Day 48- So long, long hair!

Hey guys,

    So today was a HUGE milestone for me. Today, I got my haircut for the first time in two years! More importantly(at least for me), is the fact that I got it cut for the first time since Graham died. As silly and insignificant as it might seem, it was hard. It was like my hair, even though it obviously wasn't the same length when he died, was one of the last things that I had of his. It was the last piece of him that I had. Before I go any further, I know, that's not true at all, I know he'll always be with me, and I'll always be with him. But something about that physical cutting of something that I held onto for so long just because I didn't WANT to let go, it was just hard. On the flipside, that haircut to me, was more than a haircut, it was a statement, it was my declaration of Psalm 30:5, "For his anger is but for a moment, his favor is for LIFE, there may be PAIN in the night, but JOY comes in the morning." It was me saying, yes, life happens, life sucks, but life does another thing too, it MOVES ON. I have always found it interesting, especially in these past 18 months that that verse says, "there may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning", because even though the process of MOURNING is painful, there IS a light at the end of the tunnel, and it DOES bring joy. So, I believe that it is implied(at least by those who have grieved), "there may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the MOURNING". Today, I am happy and sad, I am proud of myself, and at the same time, I am missing the part of my brother that I held onto for so long. I guess this haircut was just a symbolic reminder to me of how far I've come, and how much God has provided for me, and will continue to provide for me. It's a reminder to hold my head up high, because I'm powering through it, be proud, for what I've accomplished, and in everything and anything I do, do it for the Lord. I have been through trials like no other, and sadness like no other, I've been through loneliness, homesickness, bullying, depression, grief, but look at me now. Even more importantly look at my STORY. Look at how awesomely and how powerfully God reveals himself over and over again to me. I look at these things and know, there IS a God, he DOES love and care about me, this IS his will, and I WILL go to Heaven, but above all, I know that I am TRULY blessed to be called a daughter of the Great I Am!

<3 Always,

Rose