Day 296-God's Plan

(Thursday)

Hey guys,

        All right, let's face it, today was NOT a good day. To have your dreams built up and then see them all fall to the ground in shattered little pieces is a horrible, HORRIBLE feeling. I spent a lot of today crying, I spent a lot of it in frustration and anger, but I also spent a lot of it in praise. Praise? You ask. Yes, praise. Praise because God KNOWS there is a better place for me, in fact God has the PERFECT place just waiting for me, and I can rest in that. If Wheaton was God's plan for me, he would have opened that door, instead, he's in the process of opening another. Of course, I wish that I could know WHY God chose to close this door, and WHAT is that perfect place and the perfect door for me. I wish I didn't have to experience the pain and let down of being rejected, and I wish that I knew what God has in store for me. This is life though, God never said it would be easy, or that it would be fun, but he DID say that he will be with us every step of the way. As these questions burned in my head today, I was reminded of a time, almost 2 years ago, that our family was asking these very same questions. As I look back and see how much my life HAS changed since then, I can see that God had his hand in everything that happened, and that gives me so much encouragement and peace that this is just another struggle. One of the most encouraging songs that I had on repeat all throughout today was "Only A Mountain" by Jason Castro. The chorus is PHENOMENAL. "This is only a mountain, you don't have to find your way around it. Tell it to move, it'll move, tell it to fall, it'll fall. This is only a moment, you don't have to let your fear control it. Tell it to move, it'll move, tell it to fall, it'll fall." This is so true, and so encouraging to me, really the whole song brings me to tears. God's power can LITERALLY move mountains, no matter HOW high it looks. I know there will be a day when I can see why I didn't get into Wheaton, there will be a day when I can ask God, and he'll explain why I had to lose Graham, but for now, I am ok not knowing. I am ok resting in the truth that God won't EVER leave, no matter how alone I feel.

<3 Always,
Rose