Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Day 168-169: New Year Ringing!
Hey guys, so these past few days, I've been a bit under the weather, and didn't really have any energy to do much, which has given me a lot of time to think. I think about just how excited I was a year ago today to have the "year of death" end, and for a new slate, I was ready to move on. Then, I think about this year, and about how it met absolutely NONE of my expectations, but I just have to remind myself, am I perfect? Nope. Is God perfect? Yeah. So, as I thought through these past New Years Eve's, here a just a FEW of my many thoughts.
Another year over. I remember on New Year's Eve of last year, I was just so eager to start a new year, to have a fresh start, and to leave the horrible things that happened in 2013 IN 2013. Unfortunately, as I sit here a year later and write this, I know that that was wishful thinking, the sadness is still there, the memories are still there, and the pain is still there. Every day, every hour, every minute I miss him, but every day,every hour, and every minute I KNOW he is proud of me. This year has brought so much heartache, loneliness, sadness, and depression, but I have grown SO MUCH in the past 365 days, it is truly unbelievable. God was not done challenging me in my faith after taking Graham almost 2 years ago, but he also had a plan. He has been working in my life since day 1, through those 5 days in the hospital, and through this cross country adventure that we've embarked on. It has been so awesome for me to see how much I've changed since the end of 2013, Each and every struggle that I've faced have only drawn me closer and closer to God, even if it felt like it wasn't. That may seem like a contradiction, but I've seen so many times that those times that I just break down in anger and frustration with God, just wondering "Why? Why does my life have to be so gosh darn difficult?", it is then that he speaks to me and reminds me, God never said it would be easy. Do you think Jesus had a real easy life after being CRUCIFIED ON THE CROSS? Yeah...I don't think so...Anyways, this year has brought me much more joy and happiness than 2013 did, but it also brought me new challenges, challenges that at times I just didn't want to face, challenges that I thought I wouldn't be able to face, challenges that seemed impossible. But, here I am, still standing, I have weathered the storms of the past 2 years, and I have been praising God all the while. It was God that gave me the strength, confidence, and determination to accomplish these challenges that I never thought I could, it was God that gave me the gift of being able to find happiness and joy this year in the midst of all the sadness and homesickness, and it was GOD, that drew my family here, to Lenoir, to the church we go to, to the friends we have, and to this new adventure we have started. So, 2014, you thought you could bring me down?? Well, I am proud to say that as a daughter of the risen king, it takes a heck of a lot more than that to bring me down! " And I will praise you in this storm, and I will lift my hands, for you are who you are, no matter where I am. Every tear I cry, you hold in your hands, you never left my side, and though my heart is torn, I will praise you in this storm."~Casting Crowns. Happy 2015 to all, a new year, a new day, and a fresh start! Remember, when the whole world seems to be crashing down around you as it often does, it may be time that your faith was challenged, so embrace all of these challenges with happiness, they are an opportunity to grow closer to God. "Not only so, but we rejoice in our sufferings, for we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character, and character, HOPE." (Romans 5:3-5) Let's go 2015!!!
<3 Always,
Rose
Monday, December 29, 2014
Day 167- Skype dates in footie pajamas!!!
Hey guys,
Today, I got to skype with Rachel. For me, it really is the simple things that make me smile. After not having the most fantastic day, and being a tad bit under the weather, I felt pretty miserable and tired today. Listening to Rachel go on and on about the boys, in the same way that I go on and on about them, or that Caroline goes on and on about them, brought a smile to my face. Not only is Rachel the kind of friend who doesn't really care if your skypeing with her in your Eeyore footie pajamas because that's how miserable you feel, because she loves you THAT much, but she also loves the boys, just as much as she loves me, and sometimes, she loves the boys even MORE than I do. They are so incredibly lucky to have her as a third older sister, and I am so lucky to call her one of my closest friends, and one of the best, most honest, stand up, and quality people I have ever known! Rachel, talking with you today, hearing your voice, and just feeling so incredibly loved by you today when I was feeling pretty miserable today, made me realize how lucky I am to have such a wonderful person as one of my closest friends, and basically an extended part of my family, I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART RACHEL MIRANDA GUTIERREZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(If I got your middle name wrong, I'm sorry!!! I don't even know how I know that...)
<3 Always,
Rose
Today, I got to skype with Rachel. For me, it really is the simple things that make me smile. After not having the most fantastic day, and being a tad bit under the weather, I felt pretty miserable and tired today. Listening to Rachel go on and on about the boys, in the same way that I go on and on about them, or that Caroline goes on and on about them, brought a smile to my face. Not only is Rachel the kind of friend who doesn't really care if your skypeing with her in your Eeyore footie pajamas because that's how miserable you feel, because she loves you THAT much, but she also loves the boys, just as much as she loves me, and sometimes, she loves the boys even MORE than I do. They are so incredibly lucky to have her as a third older sister, and I am so lucky to call her one of my closest friends, and one of the best, most honest, stand up, and quality people I have ever known! Rachel, talking with you today, hearing your voice, and just feeling so incredibly loved by you today when I was feeling pretty miserable today, made me realize how lucky I am to have such a wonderful person as one of my closest friends, and basically an extended part of my family, I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART RACHEL MIRANDA GUTIERREZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(If I got your middle name wrong, I'm sorry!!! I don't even know how I know that...)
<3 Always,
Rose
Sunday, December 28, 2014
Day 165-166: Cousins
Hey guys!
So, the past few days, I've been visiting family in Raleigh. My mom's side of the family is very interesting, because we really weren't very close with them, but through losing Graham and Clara's diagnosis, it has really brought us together. The weird thing is, although we don't spend LOADS of time together, the time we do get to spend together is so precious. Whether it's watching Clara's daughters dance around the room in their tu-tus I made them, or talking with Anna about her plans in the Netherlands, or even discussing the grossness of sun screen with Clara, (FINALLY SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS MY PAIN!!!)it is all so meaningful to me. You would never think that we grew up most of our lives only having met the other a few times, and that's what I love about my cousins. The connection is so awesome, and so unique, even though we don't see each other much, and our ages range all the way from the early 30's to me, at 19, and that's not even counting the younger ones, because let's be honest, they rarely leave the home theatre...Anyways, things that have made me happy these past few days are the connection I have with my cousins, even though they ARE a good deal older than me, they love me like their little sister, and will jump at a chance to pass on advice about hard things in life! I am so blessed to not only have an older sister, but I also have 4 old girl cousins who truly watch out for me as if I am their sister!
<3 Always,
Rose
So, the past few days, I've been visiting family in Raleigh. My mom's side of the family is very interesting, because we really weren't very close with them, but through losing Graham and Clara's diagnosis, it has really brought us together. The weird thing is, although we don't spend LOADS of time together, the time we do get to spend together is so precious. Whether it's watching Clara's daughters dance around the room in their tu-tus I made them, or talking with Anna about her plans in the Netherlands, or even discussing the grossness of sun screen with Clara, (FINALLY SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS MY PAIN!!!)it is all so meaningful to me. You would never think that we grew up most of our lives only having met the other a few times, and that's what I love about my cousins. The connection is so awesome, and so unique, even though we don't see each other much, and our ages range all the way from the early 30's to me, at 19, and that's not even counting the younger ones, because let's be honest, they rarely leave the home theatre...Anyways, things that have made me happy these past few days are the connection I have with my cousins, even though they ARE a good deal older than me, they love me like their little sister, and will jump at a chance to pass on advice about hard things in life! I am so blessed to not only have an older sister, but I also have 4 old girl cousins who truly watch out for me as if I am their sister!
<3 Always,
Rose
Friday, December 26, 2014
Day 164: Memory Lane
Hey guys,
One of the great things about living in North Carolina, is that we now have a much stronger love for where my Mom grew up, and we are able to imagine, at least a little bit, of what her life was like before kids. Today, we spent the day walking down memory lane with her, she took us to the park that she went to as a kid, showed us the church that she grew up going to, showed us her elementary school, middle school, and high schools, AND she was able to show us the three houses she lived in growing up. It was so much fun to see my Mom recognize landmarks that meant so much to her, and that brought back so much happiness for her.
<3 Always,
Rose
One of the great things about living in North Carolina, is that we now have a much stronger love for where my Mom grew up, and we are able to imagine, at least a little bit, of what her life was like before kids. Today, we spent the day walking down memory lane with her, she took us to the park that she went to as a kid, showed us the church that she grew up going to, showed us her elementary school, middle school, and high schools, AND she was able to show us the three houses she lived in growing up. It was so much fun to see my Mom recognize landmarks that meant so much to her, and that brought back so much happiness for her.
<3 Always,
Rose
Thursday, December 25, 2014
Day 162-163: Count your blessings!
Hey guys,
As we finished up our holiday tonight, my sister and I sat in the basement watching Irving Berlin's "White Christmas", and I don't know about her, but I for one, had tears streaming down my face. You see, "White Christmas" was our families "Christmas Story" equivalent, we would all snuggle up in our sleeping bags, three in a row like little sardines, and Mom and Dad would sit on the couches behind us, and we would all spend our Christmas Eve watching this classic together as a family. As we grew up, obviously, we all started to love this tradition, more and more. As the holiday season crept closer, we'd find ourselves humming and whistling those sweet little tunes that we knew by heart, those tunes that brought us so much joy and so much happiness, and just made the holiday season, Christmas in particular meaningful to us. However, Graham came to love "White Christmas" more than anyone in the family, he'd spend hours every day teaching himself how to play those melodies on the piano, and we'd all gather 'round the piano and sing along, almost like a scene you'd see IN the movie White Christmas! Of course, when Graham died, things were shaken, things that seemed normal to my sister and I and the boys all the sudden brought back painful memories, not only for the parents, but for my sister and I as well. So, last Christmas, almost 9 months since his passing, we decided to skip "White Christmas". It was hard, after a year of SO much change, to see something that I had known to be "routine" for literally every year of my life all the sudden go away, because I knew, if Graham was here, we'd be watching it, no doubt! This year, my sister and I decided, it was time. No matter how many painful memories this movie would bring up, it would also bring up good memories, memories of our childhood, and memories of comfort to us. If Graham could choose ANY song from this movie as his favorite, I know it would be "Blessings", and as I sat watching the wonderful Irving Berlin sing this song for what seemed to be the millionth time, something just clicked. Not only did Graham love this song, but Graham tried his best to LIVE this song, he tried to make the best of whatever situation he found himself in, and he wanted his siblings to do the same. This song in particular goes like this, "When I'm worried, and I can't sleep, I count my blessings instead of sheep, and I'll fall asleep counting my blessings. When my bank roll is gettin' low, I think of when I had none at all, and I'll fall asleep counting my blessings." I know this was my brother reminding me ONCE AGAIN tonight to count my blessings, to count the ways that God has provided for us these two years(almost). Sure, life has NOT been easy, there have been times when I wanted SO much just to give up, just to be done here on Earth, and see my brother again, but I know, that can't be. I am here for a reason, and there is also a reason that he's NOT here, there WILL be a day that I get to see him again, but today is NOT that day! So, I challenge you, can you name 10 blessings that have taken place in the past 5 years?
1. The many, MANY conformations, visions, encouragements, and sympathy that we as a family received while Graham was in the hospital, and in the months following his death.
2. My brother was an awesome brother, in every sense of the word, and I am SO blessed to have had him for the time that I did. After he died, we found a small post-it note stuck to his desk in his dorm(pictured below), that reassured us of that!
3. My baptism. My baptism was not only very special to me, it was also very sentimental to me, it was a life changing event for me. My baptism just so happened to fall on the one year anniversary of his death, and when I found this out, I KNEW it would be something to remember. My baptism night, my baptism study that I walked through with my mentor, Emily, and just that feeling when I came out of the water that night, was embraced by Graham's girlfriend, and told, "The service ended at EXACTLY 8:23!"(Graham's official time of death)
4.My faith. My faith has been tried. Even before Graham, even before middle school, my faith has always been a HUGE part of my life. I remember, when I was in 1st grade, I snuck behind a bush with my friend who went to my church, to discuss "God" with him at recess one day, and as we were lining up, the teacher pulled us aside and told us that she was just astounded by our love for God.
5. God's provision for me this past year. This past year has NOT been easy for me, like at ALL. It has brought a lot of heartache, homesickness, loneliness, and just sadness, but God has held me through it all. For instance, a few days ago, when I didn't get into Wheaton, God gave me peace, while also giving me the freedom to feel. What I mean by this is that I realized simultaneously two things, one, it is ok to be sad, it's ok to be hurt, because anyone would! And second, life goes on, there will be a brighter day, and you are called to serve God not only in the brighter days, but also in the darker ones.
6. FRIENDS! God has given me another blessing this year, it is the gift of confidence and self-worth. Moving half-way across the country, after living in the same place for literally my entire life, I was devastated. I was sad, I was heartbroken, but I knew, deep, DEEP, down that this is where I needed to be. I was afraid that after moving here, I would sink deeper into depression, and struggle to put myself out there in the slightest, because even in Wheaton, in situations where I didn't know the people, (BELIEVE IT OR NOT!) I would actually be VERY quiet and shy. Surprisingly, the complete opposite happened when I moved down here! The very first Sunday we were here, I chose, on my own, to go to a youth part and meet people.
7. My relationship with my parents. Like every teenage girl, my relationship with my parents throughout my high school years was rocky at best, there were times that I just really thought I would not survive another "discreet reminder" that I needed to clean my room. However, as a Christian teenage girl, I had a much stronger relationship with my parents than other girls I knew, and this year has only HELPED to strengthen it!
8. Adrienne. A lot of you who have been reading my blogs since the beginning have heard about Adrienne a lot, but I really never get tired of talking about her, and how awesome she is! ;) I was blessed to find someone at our church, let alone the YOUTH DIRECTOR that grew up only a short 30 minutes from Wheaton, who knew all the "northern" slang and sayings that everyone else would just look at me like I'm from another planet if I said it. More than that, she KNEW what it felt like to move from a suburban city, filled with people and friends of all sorts, to a small, somewhat impoverished mountain town. Adrienne, I know you know how much you mean to me, so I'm not going to drag it out, let's just leave it at this. I love you, and seriously, without you, I would have NEVER made it through the move without going insane!
9. Elliot. All my life, I have wanted a dog with all my heart, and secretly envied anyone that DID have a dog. I am so thankful that I have been given a dog at JUST the right time in my life, and JUST the right dog at that!
10. The love never stops. I have been so encouraged by people near and far. Just when I feel like my problems are being forgotten in a world that is involved with their own problems, I wake up to a text from a friend, old or new, just reminding me that they love me, and they're praying for me, that right there means the world to me.
As we finished up our holiday tonight, my sister and I sat in the basement watching Irving Berlin's "White Christmas", and I don't know about her, but I for one, had tears streaming down my face. You see, "White Christmas" was our families "Christmas Story" equivalent, we would all snuggle up in our sleeping bags, three in a row like little sardines, and Mom and Dad would sit on the couches behind us, and we would all spend our Christmas Eve watching this classic together as a family. As we grew up, obviously, we all started to love this tradition, more and more. As the holiday season crept closer, we'd find ourselves humming and whistling those sweet little tunes that we knew by heart, those tunes that brought us so much joy and so much happiness, and just made the holiday season, Christmas in particular meaningful to us. However, Graham came to love "White Christmas" more than anyone in the family, he'd spend hours every day teaching himself how to play those melodies on the piano, and we'd all gather 'round the piano and sing along, almost like a scene you'd see IN the movie White Christmas! Of course, when Graham died, things were shaken, things that seemed normal to my sister and I and the boys all the sudden brought back painful memories, not only for the parents, but for my sister and I as well. So, last Christmas, almost 9 months since his passing, we decided to skip "White Christmas". It was hard, after a year of SO much change, to see something that I had known to be "routine" for literally every year of my life all the sudden go away, because I knew, if Graham was here, we'd be watching it, no doubt! This year, my sister and I decided, it was time. No matter how many painful memories this movie would bring up, it would also bring up good memories, memories of our childhood, and memories of comfort to us. If Graham could choose ANY song from this movie as his favorite, I know it would be "Blessings", and as I sat watching the wonderful Irving Berlin sing this song for what seemed to be the millionth time, something just clicked. Not only did Graham love this song, but Graham tried his best to LIVE this song, he tried to make the best of whatever situation he found himself in, and he wanted his siblings to do the same. This song in particular goes like this, "When I'm worried, and I can't sleep, I count my blessings instead of sheep, and I'll fall asleep counting my blessings. When my bank roll is gettin' low, I think of when I had none at all, and I'll fall asleep counting my blessings." I know this was my brother reminding me ONCE AGAIN tonight to count my blessings, to count the ways that God has provided for us these two years(almost). Sure, life has NOT been easy, there have been times when I wanted SO much just to give up, just to be done here on Earth, and see my brother again, but I know, that can't be. I am here for a reason, and there is also a reason that he's NOT here, there WILL be a day that I get to see him again, but today is NOT that day! So, I challenge you, can you name 10 blessings that have taken place in the past 5 years?
1. The many, MANY conformations, visions, encouragements, and sympathy that we as a family received while Graham was in the hospital, and in the months following his death.
2. My brother was an awesome brother, in every sense of the word, and I am SO blessed to have had him for the time that I did. After he died, we found a small post-it note stuck to his desk in his dorm(pictured below), that reassured us of that!
3. My baptism. My baptism was not only very special to me, it was also very sentimental to me, it was a life changing event for me. My baptism just so happened to fall on the one year anniversary of his death, and when I found this out, I KNEW it would be something to remember. My baptism night, my baptism study that I walked through with my mentor, Emily, and just that feeling when I came out of the water that night, was embraced by Graham's girlfriend, and told, "The service ended at EXACTLY 8:23!"(Graham's official time of death)
4.My faith. My faith has been tried. Even before Graham, even before middle school, my faith has always been a HUGE part of my life. I remember, when I was in 1st grade, I snuck behind a bush with my friend who went to my church, to discuss "God" with him at recess one day, and as we were lining up, the teacher pulled us aside and told us that she was just astounded by our love for God.
5. God's provision for me this past year. This past year has NOT been easy for me, like at ALL. It has brought a lot of heartache, homesickness, loneliness, and just sadness, but God has held me through it all. For instance, a few days ago, when I didn't get into Wheaton, God gave me peace, while also giving me the freedom to feel. What I mean by this is that I realized simultaneously two things, one, it is ok to be sad, it's ok to be hurt, because anyone would! And second, life goes on, there will be a brighter day, and you are called to serve God not only in the brighter days, but also in the darker ones.
6. FRIENDS! God has given me another blessing this year, it is the gift of confidence and self-worth. Moving half-way across the country, after living in the same place for literally my entire life, I was devastated. I was sad, I was heartbroken, but I knew, deep, DEEP, down that this is where I needed to be. I was afraid that after moving here, I would sink deeper into depression, and struggle to put myself out there in the slightest, because even in Wheaton, in situations where I didn't know the people, (BELIEVE IT OR NOT!) I would actually be VERY quiet and shy. Surprisingly, the complete opposite happened when I moved down here! The very first Sunday we were here, I chose, on my own, to go to a youth part and meet people.
7. My relationship with my parents. Like every teenage girl, my relationship with my parents throughout my high school years was rocky at best, there were times that I just really thought I would not survive another "discreet reminder" that I needed to clean my room. However, as a Christian teenage girl, I had a much stronger relationship with my parents than other girls I knew, and this year has only HELPED to strengthen it!
8. Adrienne. A lot of you who have been reading my blogs since the beginning have heard about Adrienne a lot, but I really never get tired of talking about her, and how awesome she is! ;) I was blessed to find someone at our church, let alone the YOUTH DIRECTOR that grew up only a short 30 minutes from Wheaton, who knew all the "northern" slang and sayings that everyone else would just look at me like I'm from another planet if I said it. More than that, she KNEW what it felt like to move from a suburban city, filled with people and friends of all sorts, to a small, somewhat impoverished mountain town. Adrienne, I know you know how much you mean to me, so I'm not going to drag it out, let's just leave it at this. I love you, and seriously, without you, I would have NEVER made it through the move without going insane!
9. Elliot. All my life, I have wanted a dog with all my heart, and secretly envied anyone that DID have a dog. I am so thankful that I have been given a dog at JUST the right time in my life, and JUST the right dog at that!
10. The love never stops. I have been so encouraged by people near and far. Just when I feel like my problems are being forgotten in a world that is involved with their own problems, I wake up to a text from a friend, old or new, just reminding me that they love me, and they're praying for me, that right there means the world to me.
"I came from God, I belong to God, I am destined for God"
This quote was found on my brothers desk of his dorm at Wheaton.
<3 Always,
Rose
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
Day 161- The greatest grandma EVER!
Hey guys,
So, this morning/early afternoon, my grandma stopped by! We hadn't seen her in a while, and she brought food, so we were pretty excited ;) After lunch, my Mom and I and her got to talking, about some pretty tough stuff, about me staying home next year and doing community college. Community college has never really appealed to me, mainly because I love my brothers and all, but there are times when I just need to get away, and be on my own, and NOT have to worry about being a big sister, and worry about what the boys are doing. I want to have the freedom to do what I want to do! She reminded me today though, that if I DID do community college, it wouldn't be like it is right now, where I spend a LOT of time at home, with nothing to do. I would have extracurriculars, classes, work, church, and possibly even my own car! Home would be the place where I would essentially eat and sleep, and it would be a FREE place to eat and sleep. Education really is basically the same wherever you go, there's no magic formula that Yale and Harvard and Princeton have that all the other colleges don't, so why pay $40 thousand dollars a year, when you can pay 6 thousand, or even less?? I am so grateful that I do have a Grandma that cares for me, wants what's best for me, and wants to see me succeed in everything I do, because I know alot of people that DON'T have that. I am so blessed that Grandma IS only an hour and a half away, and I get to see her fairly often, because that is a luxury that not everyone gets!
<3 always,
Rose
So, this morning/early afternoon, my grandma stopped by! We hadn't seen her in a while, and she brought food, so we were pretty excited ;) After lunch, my Mom and I and her got to talking, about some pretty tough stuff, about me staying home next year and doing community college. Community college has never really appealed to me, mainly because I love my brothers and all, but there are times when I just need to get away, and be on my own, and NOT have to worry about being a big sister, and worry about what the boys are doing. I want to have the freedom to do what I want to do! She reminded me today though, that if I DID do community college, it wouldn't be like it is right now, where I spend a LOT of time at home, with nothing to do. I would have extracurriculars, classes, work, church, and possibly even my own car! Home would be the place where I would essentially eat and sleep, and it would be a FREE place to eat and sleep. Education really is basically the same wherever you go, there's no magic formula that Yale and Harvard and Princeton have that all the other colleges don't, so why pay $40 thousand dollars a year, when you can pay 6 thousand, or even less?? I am so grateful that I do have a Grandma that cares for me, wants what's best for me, and wants to see me succeed in everything I do, because I know alot of people that DON'T have that. I am so blessed that Grandma IS only an hour and a half away, and I get to see her fairly often, because that is a luxury that not everyone gets!
<3 always,
Rose
Monday, December 22, 2014
Day 160- WINTER!
Hey guys,
So, I know for all you people in Chicago, you are probably ALREADY sick of Winter, but here in NC, it hasn't really started...sure, it's cold, like probably mid-30's, but nott cold enough for snow. You may think I'm crazy for saying this(heck, you may think I'm crazy regardless...), but I MISS the snow! It makes me so sad that we will NOT have a White Christmas this year! This afternoon though, we got to pretend, for JUST a little bit that it was cold enough for snow :) We drove up to Appalachian Ski Mountain(or "App" as it's known here...) where they make artificial snow, and got to go ice skating, OUTSIDE!!!! It got me super excited that it will EVENTUALLY snow here, and at the same time, it made me grateful that it hasn't yet!
<3 Always,
Rose
So, I know for all you people in Chicago, you are probably ALREADY sick of Winter, but here in NC, it hasn't really started...sure, it's cold, like probably mid-30's, but nott cold enough for snow. You may think I'm crazy for saying this(heck, you may think I'm crazy regardless...), but I MISS the snow! It makes me so sad that we will NOT have a White Christmas this year! This afternoon though, we got to pretend, for JUST a little bit that it was cold enough for snow :) We drove up to Appalachian Ski Mountain(or "App" as it's known here...) where they make artificial snow, and got to go ice skating, OUTSIDE!!!! It got me super excited that it will EVENTUALLY snow here, and at the same time, it made me grateful that it hasn't yet!
<3 Always,
Rose
Sunday, December 21, 2014
Day 159-Fuzzy Blankets
Hey guys,
So. Today, I got a NEW fuzzy blanket, my heart is so happy :)
<3 Always,
Rose
So. Today, I got a NEW fuzzy blanket, my heart is so happy :)
<3 Always,
Rose
Saturday, December 20, 2014
Day 158-A New Day
Hey guys,
So, Friday was spent basically sulking/sobbing in my room, and to tell you the truth, in my heart of hearts, I felt terrible doing it. Who am I to be complaining that one TINY little thing didn't go my way? Am I not lucky to even wake up every morning? Am I not blessed to have seen God SO many times in these past two years? So...what am I complaining about? A part of me knew that I had every right to feel in the moment, I have every right to be sad, in the moment. But I also have to realize that that time of such raw feeling can only last so long. There comes a time when I DO have to drag myself out of bed and tell myself, "Rose, there are more important things in life than Wheaton College, but more than that, there are more important things in life than Rose Stevens. Today is a new day, let's make it better!" That was truly my attitude as I woke up this morning. Am I still upset? Yup. Am I still angry and frustrated? Heck yeah. Am I still freaking out because I have no idea where I'll be next year? YES! But that's ok. Because everyone has those worries and feelings, and they all know that somehow, some way, thing's will get better. So today, I had the mission to do two things; stop feeling sorry for myself, and concentrate on the here and now. Tonight, we served the homeless and low-income people in our area dinner through our church, and that was so humbling. 24 hours before, I had been so caught up in why I couldn't get into Wheaton, or where I would go to college, and here I was, serving dinner to people who had never even DREAMED of going to college. People who have days like I had yesterday EVERY DAY, and yet, somehow find a way to smile at the end of it. I was serving people who have seen so much hardship and struggle in their lives, they could probably write a book, and 24 hours earlier, I was in my bed sobbing because I didn't get accepted to Wheaton, which doesn't even mean I won't be accepted later?? Talk about first world problems!! Today, I was humbly reminded that my life, it's actually not mine. My friends, my family, my home, they're all temporary. My life is and should always be CHRIST living through me, I am a humble vessel, and that is all.
<3 Always,
Rose
So, Friday was spent basically sulking/sobbing in my room, and to tell you the truth, in my heart of hearts, I felt terrible doing it. Who am I to be complaining that one TINY little thing didn't go my way? Am I not lucky to even wake up every morning? Am I not blessed to have seen God SO many times in these past two years? So...what am I complaining about? A part of me knew that I had every right to feel in the moment, I have every right to be sad, in the moment. But I also have to realize that that time of such raw feeling can only last so long. There comes a time when I DO have to drag myself out of bed and tell myself, "Rose, there are more important things in life than Wheaton College, but more than that, there are more important things in life than Rose Stevens. Today is a new day, let's make it better!" That was truly my attitude as I woke up this morning. Am I still upset? Yup. Am I still angry and frustrated? Heck yeah. Am I still freaking out because I have no idea where I'll be next year? YES! But that's ok. Because everyone has those worries and feelings, and they all know that somehow, some way, thing's will get better. So today, I had the mission to do two things; stop feeling sorry for myself, and concentrate on the here and now. Tonight, we served the homeless and low-income people in our area dinner through our church, and that was so humbling. 24 hours before, I had been so caught up in why I couldn't get into Wheaton, or where I would go to college, and here I was, serving dinner to people who had never even DREAMED of going to college. People who have days like I had yesterday EVERY DAY, and yet, somehow find a way to smile at the end of it. I was serving people who have seen so much hardship and struggle in their lives, they could probably write a book, and 24 hours earlier, I was in my bed sobbing because I didn't get accepted to Wheaton, which doesn't even mean I won't be accepted later?? Talk about first world problems!! Today, I was humbly reminded that my life, it's actually not mine. My friends, my family, my home, they're all temporary. My life is and should always be CHRIST living through me, I am a humble vessel, and that is all.
<3 Always,
Rose
Friday, December 19, 2014
Day 157-Being at peace
Hey guys,
So, I'm sure by now many of you know that today was NOT the easiest day in the world for me. Essentially, I got pushed into the regular enrollment round at Wheaton, and I have to wait another 3 months to hear. On top of that, the percentage of students in my position that have actually been ADMITTED to Wheaton is only 30%. So, as I sat in my room this afternoon, sobbing and heartbroken, I was also at peace. I know how strange this sounds, but just hold on, I'll explain. As much as I was sure that I was going to be admitted, and as heartbroken as I am to realize that there's a good chance that I won't be, all through the day today, I had people, some of them GRADUATES of Wheaton tell me that the same thing happened to them. At the same time, I continue to be SO reminded that this life isn't about me, it's about doing my best to live my life for Christ, and spread his love to others. Not my will on this Earth be done, but YOURS o Lord. My life is not my own, because it is hidden in Christ. I know that whatever happens with Wheaton, wherever I end up next fall, THAT is where God wants me to be. For the time being though, God has put me in Lenoir for a reason, and I'm going to ENJOY the time I have here.
<3 Always,
Rose
So, I'm sure by now many of you know that today was NOT the easiest day in the world for me. Essentially, I got pushed into the regular enrollment round at Wheaton, and I have to wait another 3 months to hear. On top of that, the percentage of students in my position that have actually been ADMITTED to Wheaton is only 30%. So, as I sat in my room this afternoon, sobbing and heartbroken, I was also at peace. I know how strange this sounds, but just hold on, I'll explain. As much as I was sure that I was going to be admitted, and as heartbroken as I am to realize that there's a good chance that I won't be, all through the day today, I had people, some of them GRADUATES of Wheaton tell me that the same thing happened to them. At the same time, I continue to be SO reminded that this life isn't about me, it's about doing my best to live my life for Christ, and spread his love to others. Not my will on this Earth be done, but YOURS o Lord. My life is not my own, because it is hidden in Christ. I know that whatever happens with Wheaton, wherever I end up next fall, THAT is where God wants me to be. For the time being though, God has put me in Lenoir for a reason, and I'm going to ENJOY the time I have here.
<3 Always,
Rose
Thursday, December 18, 2014
Day 156- PIZZA!!!!!
Hey guys,
So, today was a great day. The bible study met at Piccolo's for our end of the year celebration! For all you locals, you KNOW Piccolo's is the place to go for good quality CHICAGO style pizza, and for you Chicagoians, it's no Giordano's, but from one Chicagoian to another, I approve :)
<3 Always,
Rose
So, today was a great day. The bible study met at Piccolo's for our end of the year celebration! For all you locals, you KNOW Piccolo's is the place to go for good quality CHICAGO style pizza, and for you Chicagoians, it's no Giordano's, but from one Chicagoian to another, I approve :)
<3 Always,
Rose
Wednesday, December 17, 2014
Day 155-MUSIC
Hey guys,
So, for me, music has always been my joy. I love people and everything, but quite honestly, NOTHING gets me as happy and joyful as rocking out to my favorite song on the radio. Many times, God has used music to speak to me and let me know, "It's gonna be ok. Everything may be falling apart, but keep in mind, it's also falling into my PERFECT placement." The holiday season without Graham was hard last year, but this holiday season is another story entirely. Pretty much since Thanksgiving, I have been really struggling to find the joy and happiness that often come so easily to me, the holidays were stirring up a lot of sadness, and in turn, depression. That right there is a scary word "depression". Last summer, right before I went off to my student conference, I was told that I had a severe depression, so bad that I may need to be hospitalized in the future, and I went off to this conference basically "shell-shocked". At the conference though, I saw God working through my friends, my adult leaders, the speakers, and the bands that were there, and it ended with me being able to see first hand what it would be like a few months from now if I let this depression control me, and I made up my mind. I simply wouldn't let it control me. Obviously, I still struggle with it(thus, the reason I'm writing this), but in the midst of my struggle, I KNOW that God is working in me, and I need to welcome that struggle as a opportunity to grow closer to him. But back to music...as I was looking over my many, MANY videos that I've made over the years, I stumbled upon one in particular that really stopped me in my tracks. I had made the video literally DAYS after we moved, and it really struck me. My attitude then was, "Alright God, here I am, ready to do your will. Take my life and let it be yours." So, who am I to sit here and say "woe is me, my brother died."? What about all those many people in the bible who lose SO much more than their brother, and still have faith in God? Consider Job, Job lost ABSOLUTELY everyone and everything that he cared about, because Satan wanted to test his faith in God. Job lost his ENTIRE family, all his friends, his home, and everything he loved, yet he was able to praise God through it all. Now THAT is faith! And THAT is what I want my life to be about! I've made a video of me singing this song that I came across tonight, it's called, "Desert Song". The chorus is simple, yet amazing, it just says, "I will bring PRAISE, I will bring PRAISE, no weapon formed against me shall remain, I will REJOICE, I will declare, GOD IS MY VICTORY AND HE IS HERE." The other part of the song that really speaks to me is the bridge, "All of my life, in every season, you are STILL God, I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship." Hopefully this post will encourage some of you who are struggling with life and the holidays!
<3 Always,
Rose
<3 Always,
Rose
Tuesday, December 16, 2014
Day 153-Nature!
Hey guys,
So today, YES, DECEMBER 16TH, we got to go on a walk with our family and friends. I am so happy to be enjoying the still high 50's weather in DECEMEBER!!!!....Meanwhile, those in Chicago are officially icicles. ;-) Anyways, we got to enjoy the wonderful weather and nature as a group, and it was so much fun!
So today, YES, DECEMBER 16TH, we got to go on a walk with our family and friends. I am so happy to be enjoying the still high 50's weather in DECEMEBER!!!!....Meanwhile, those in Chicago are officially icicles. ;-) Anyways, we got to enjoy the wonderful weather and nature as a group, and it was so much fun!
Not from today, just a really BEAUTIFUL fall picture near Lake Geneva :)
<3 Always,
Rose
Monday, December 15, 2014
Day 152- Great friends!
Hey guys,
So, today we had a big treat! Our friends from Wheaton, the Connors came down from TN to come see us! It is so great to sit around the table at Linda's(my old youth leader who lives only like 45 minutes away!) and talk about how it has been for each of us to move in the past year. The Connors moved to Arizona, Linda and Rod moved to North Carolina in January, and we moved (obviously) in June! Living so far away from people you've known for such a long time really makes you appreciate the times we DO get to spend together!
So, today we had a big treat! Our friends from Wheaton, the Connors came down from TN to come see us! It is so great to sit around the table at Linda's(my old youth leader who lives only like 45 minutes away!) and talk about how it has been for each of us to move in the past year. The Connors moved to Arizona, Linda and Rod moved to North Carolina in January, and we moved (obviously) in June! Living so far away from people you've known for such a long time really makes you appreciate the times we DO get to spend together!
<3 Always,
Rose
Sunday, December 14, 2014
Day 151-Mary...she's AWESOME!!!
Hey guys,
Have you ever thought about how FLIPPING awesome the story of advent is?? It's pretty amazing...let me put it in modern terms with this play.
Act 1: Conception?
*The curtain opens to see a 17 year old girl, driving her car, when an ANGEL appears!*
Mary:...um...WHAT?
Gabriel: Hey Mary, Chill out, it's ok bro. I'm coming to tell you that God has chosen you to give birth to his child!
Mary:Alright...does he want to meet up somewhere? Or how does he want to do this?
Gabriel: Mary, you're not LISTENING! The child is already inside you!
Mary: Um...wait. Wouldn't that require a guy? How is..what the...I'm SO CONFUSED!
Gabriel: It's alright Mary, don't be afraid!
Mary: Ain't nobody got time to be afraid!
Gabriel:(now shouting over Mary's anxious thoughts) You've found favor in the Lord!
Mary:...NO...REALLY??!!
Gabriel: God said you should name him Jesus, now go, tell Joseph!
Mary: First of all, I'm not naming my son Jesus...unless I want him to get beat up after school every day! And secondly, ARE YOU CRAZY? You want me to go and tell my FIANCE that I'm pregnant with God's baby? How do I know you're not messing with me?
Gabriel: Think about that phrase for a minute, you just asked an ANGEL OF THE LORD if he was crazy, and then proceeded to say "how do I know you're not 'messing with me'"...I'M AN ANGEL OF THE LORD!!!!! Dy'a think God's just sitting up there like, Oh hey, let's go play some mind games with Mary!
Mary:...Alright fine, you're not messing with me...but I'm REALLY gonna have this baby?
Gabriel: YES!
Act 2:The Husband
*Mary walks into the apartment, looking as pale as a ghost, Joseph is transfixed in his video game*
Mary(walking in front of the TV): Hey babe...I kinda need to talk to you...
Joseph(trying to see behind Mary): WAIT! I was just about to beat the *electronic sound effect*...level. Well, I guess I can talk now, WHAT could be so important?
Mary: First, I want you to know, I'm completely sober, I'm not on any drugs, this REALLY happened...
Joseph(rolls his eyes): JUST SAY IT!
Mary: I saw an angel today...
Joseph(looking flattered): Aww babe! That's so nice!
Mary: Not you, ya moron! I saw an ANGEL! Like, a messenger from the Lord!
Joseph: Oh boy...here we go! Mary, if this is your way of trying to get me to come with you to church...you crazy.
Mary: Just hear me out alright? He told me that I'm going to have a baby.
Joseph: I should hope so...
Mary(getting frustrated now): NOT WITH YOU!!!! Just listen, ok? Let me finish!
Joseph: Dang girl, those pregnancy hormones are kicking in!
Mary: EXCUSE ME??!! Wait, what am I doing. God, the angel, right! The angel told me that I will give birth to GOD'S SON!!!!!!
Joseph(looking even more flattered): That might be taking it a BIT too far, don't ya think?
Mary(rolls her eyes): THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO MAKE JOKES!!!!!!! I SAW AN ANGEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Joseph: Yeah, ok. I'll beleive THAT when I see it.
*curtains close*
Act 3: Another special visitor
*Later that night, Mary is in bed, and Joseph is up late playing his video game*
Joseph: Come on...I gotta kill these guys.
*Suddenly the screen turns black, but then just as quickly as it turned off, it becomes radiant and overflowing with light*
Joseph: What the...?
Gabriel: Joseph, don't be afraid!
Joseph: STEVIE THE TV KNOWS MY NAME??!!
Gabriel: It's not the TV, it's me, Gabriel. I've been sent from the Lord...
Joseph: Oh please...not you too!
Gabriel: Oh you're right, apparently you're too cool for the Lord...see you later!
Joseph: Wait!!...I mean um....you can tell me the news, if you want to...
Gabriel(smiling): I thought so... God wants you to know that Mary was telling you the truth! Your fiance is going to give birth to the Son of God!
Joseph: SAY WHAAAAT?????
Gabriel: Mary.God. Baby. Not yours. Is that clear enough for ya?
Joseph(mumbling): Mary...son...virgin...God...donkey...wait, what? Oh right...Mary is going to have God's son! Wait...MARY IS GOING TO HAVE GOD'S SON??
Gabriel: Ding ding ding ding! We have a winner!!
Joseph: So...how's this going to work? You don't use me at all? When? How?
Gabriel: It will happen in God's timing and in his perfect way...you just have to trust! You are going to call the baby Jesus.
Joseph: Ugh...fine...I'll be patient. But, Jesus...really??
Gabriel: NAW, an angel of the Lord just lied to you!!!
Joseph: Alright, fine. Jesus it is.
--END--
<3 Always,
Rose
Have you ever thought about how FLIPPING awesome the story of advent is?? It's pretty amazing...let me put it in modern terms with this play.
Act 1: Conception?
*The curtain opens to see a 17 year old girl, driving her car, when an ANGEL appears!*
Mary:...um...WHAT?
Gabriel: Hey Mary, Chill out, it's ok bro. I'm coming to tell you that God has chosen you to give birth to his child!
Mary:Alright...does he want to meet up somewhere? Or how does he want to do this?
Gabriel: Mary, you're not LISTENING! The child is already inside you!
Mary: Um...wait. Wouldn't that require a guy? How is..what the...I'm SO CONFUSED!
Gabriel: It's alright Mary, don't be afraid!
Mary: Ain't nobody got time to be afraid!
Gabriel:(now shouting over Mary's anxious thoughts) You've found favor in the Lord!
Mary:...NO...REALLY??!!
Gabriel: God said you should name him Jesus, now go, tell Joseph!
Mary: First of all, I'm not naming my son Jesus...unless I want him to get beat up after school every day! And secondly, ARE YOU CRAZY? You want me to go and tell my FIANCE that I'm pregnant with God's baby? How do I know you're not messing with me?
Gabriel: Think about that phrase for a minute, you just asked an ANGEL OF THE LORD if he was crazy, and then proceeded to say "how do I know you're not 'messing with me'"...I'M AN ANGEL OF THE LORD!!!!! Dy'a think God's just sitting up there like, Oh hey, let's go play some mind games with Mary!
Mary:...Alright fine, you're not messing with me...but I'm REALLY gonna have this baby?
Gabriel: YES!
Act 2:The Husband
*Mary walks into the apartment, looking as pale as a ghost, Joseph is transfixed in his video game*
Mary(walking in front of the TV): Hey babe...I kinda need to talk to you...
Joseph(trying to see behind Mary): WAIT! I was just about to beat the *electronic sound effect*...level. Well, I guess I can talk now, WHAT could be so important?
Mary: First, I want you to know, I'm completely sober, I'm not on any drugs, this REALLY happened...
Joseph(rolls his eyes): JUST SAY IT!
Mary: I saw an angel today...
Joseph(looking flattered): Aww babe! That's so nice!
Mary: Not you, ya moron! I saw an ANGEL! Like, a messenger from the Lord!
Joseph: Oh boy...here we go! Mary, if this is your way of trying to get me to come with you to church...you crazy.
Mary: Just hear me out alright? He told me that I'm going to have a baby.
Joseph: I should hope so...
Mary(getting frustrated now): NOT WITH YOU!!!! Just listen, ok? Let me finish!
Joseph: Dang girl, those pregnancy hormones are kicking in!
Mary: EXCUSE ME??!! Wait, what am I doing. God, the angel, right! The angel told me that I will give birth to GOD'S SON!!!!!!
Joseph(looking even more flattered): That might be taking it a BIT too far, don't ya think?
Mary(rolls her eyes): THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO MAKE JOKES!!!!!!! I SAW AN ANGEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Joseph: Yeah, ok. I'll beleive THAT when I see it.
*curtains close*
Act 3: Another special visitor
*Later that night, Mary is in bed, and Joseph is up late playing his video game*
Joseph: Come on...I gotta kill these guys.
*Suddenly the screen turns black, but then just as quickly as it turned off, it becomes radiant and overflowing with light*
Joseph: What the...?
Gabriel: Joseph, don't be afraid!
Joseph: STEVIE THE TV KNOWS MY NAME??!!
Gabriel: It's not the TV, it's me, Gabriel. I've been sent from the Lord...
Joseph: Oh please...not you too!
Gabriel: Oh you're right, apparently you're too cool for the Lord...see you later!
Joseph: Wait!!...I mean um....you can tell me the news, if you want to...
Gabriel(smiling): I thought so... God wants you to know that Mary was telling you the truth! Your fiance is going to give birth to the Son of God!
Joseph: SAY WHAAAAT?????
Gabriel: Mary.God. Baby. Not yours. Is that clear enough for ya?
Joseph(mumbling): Mary...son...virgin...God...donkey...wait, what? Oh right...Mary is going to have God's son! Wait...MARY IS GOING TO HAVE GOD'S SON??
Gabriel: Ding ding ding ding! We have a winner!!
Joseph: So...how's this going to work? You don't use me at all? When? How?
Gabriel: It will happen in God's timing and in his perfect way...you just have to trust! You are going to call the baby Jesus.
Joseph: Ugh...fine...I'll be patient. But, Jesus...really??
Gabriel: NAW, an angel of the Lord just lied to you!!!
Joseph: Alright, fine. Jesus it is.
--END--
<3 Always,
Rose
Saturday, December 13, 2014
Day 150- J....O...B!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey guys,
So after job-hunting for almost 6 months, I FINALLY have a job :D AND it's nannying, which is what I really wanted to do :D Today is a good day!
<3 Always,
Rose
So after job-hunting for almost 6 months, I FINALLY have a job :D AND it's nannying, which is what I really wanted to do :D Today is a good day!
<3 Always,
Rose
Friday, December 12, 2014
Day 149-Maya
Hey guys,
So, for almost 8 years of my life, I was so blessed to be a part of the wonderful childcare team at Blanchard. From being 10 years old, and still not old enough to work with the babies alone, to my very last year, where the early childhood wing was basically my second home. I learned so much, and have so many fond memories of teaching these sweet kiddos what it means to be a child of Christ. As I grew older, I happened upon ANOTHER amazing opportunity that Blanchard offered, summer camp. Our childcare team partnered with other churches in the area to provide an affordable camp, tutoring, and bible lessons to young kids in the area. Quickly, I developed an amazing relationship, almost like a big sistership to the wonderful Maya Zielinski. Maya's brother and my younger brother played on the same baseball team, but Maya is very shy, so I really didn't know her well. I think for her, as a little first grader, it was comforting to see a familiar face, even if it wasn't SUPER familiar, because after day one, she basically stuck to me like glue. Through the years of summer camp, we grew closer and closer, and our families in effect grew closer as well. I've always wanted a little sister, someone to do girl things with, and I've sort of realized, there are times when Maya and I were basically big sister-little sister, except for the fact that we didn't live together and drive each other crazy. Because Maya comes from a huge family, she is always looking out for his sisters and brothers, she is so kind, and caring, and a WONDERFUL big sister to her siblings, even when she wanted to have me to herself, but I had an AJ hanging off my arm, and a Carter running off into the woods...and THAT is a wonderful thing to see in a 10 year old! Maya's love for others in general is so strong for her age, that it actually leaves me speechless sometimes. She is a wonderful sister, and a wonderful kid! Maya, I want you to know that the connection that we have will NEVER be broken, no matter how many siblings try to get in between it! I will always have a special place in my heart reserved just for you, my one and only "little sister". I love you and miss you!!!
So, for almost 8 years of my life, I was so blessed to be a part of the wonderful childcare team at Blanchard. From being 10 years old, and still not old enough to work with the babies alone, to my very last year, where the early childhood wing was basically my second home. I learned so much, and have so many fond memories of teaching these sweet kiddos what it means to be a child of Christ. As I grew older, I happened upon ANOTHER amazing opportunity that Blanchard offered, summer camp. Our childcare team partnered with other churches in the area to provide an affordable camp, tutoring, and bible lessons to young kids in the area. Quickly, I developed an amazing relationship, almost like a big sistership to the wonderful Maya Zielinski. Maya's brother and my younger brother played on the same baseball team, but Maya is very shy, so I really didn't know her well. I think for her, as a little first grader, it was comforting to see a familiar face, even if it wasn't SUPER familiar, because after day one, she basically stuck to me like glue. Through the years of summer camp, we grew closer and closer, and our families in effect grew closer as well. I've always wanted a little sister, someone to do girl things with, and I've sort of realized, there are times when Maya and I were basically big sister-little sister, except for the fact that we didn't live together and drive each other crazy. Because Maya comes from a huge family, she is always looking out for his sisters and brothers, she is so kind, and caring, and a WONDERFUL big sister to her siblings, even when she wanted to have me to herself, but I had an AJ hanging off my arm, and a Carter running off into the woods...and THAT is a wonderful thing to see in a 10 year old! Maya's love for others in general is so strong for her age, that it actually leaves me speechless sometimes. She is a wonderful sister, and a wonderful kid! Maya, I want you to know that the connection that we have will NEVER be broken, no matter how many siblings try to get in between it! I will always have a special place in my heart reserved just for you, my one and only "little sister". I love you and miss you!!!
Love!
Aren't little siblings the greatest?
She is SUCH a big sister, it is amazing :)
<3 Always,
Rose
Thursday, December 11, 2014
Day 148- My squishies
Hey guys,
So, reading this title you might be a bit confused...but hold on! I'll explain. When the little boys first came to us, they were three and two, and somehow MORE adorable than they are today. Every day after school, Graham would come home and be so excited to hug his "squishies" (i.e. the boys) because they were just so dang squishy! It's so sweet that basically every day I have two little shadows following me wherever I go, no matter how annoying it may be, in truth, I love it! I love how sweet and thoughtful they are to me, and love to spend time with me! They will always be my squishies...no matter how old they are :)
So, reading this title you might be a bit confused...but hold on! I'll explain. When the little boys first came to us, they were three and two, and somehow MORE adorable than they are today. Every day after school, Graham would come home and be so excited to hug his "squishies" (i.e. the boys) because they were just so dang squishy! It's so sweet that basically every day I have two little shadows following me wherever I go, no matter how annoying it may be, in truth, I love it! I love how sweet and thoughtful they are to me, and love to spend time with me! They will always be my squishies...no matter how old they are :)
I'm Blessed :)
<3 Always,
Rose
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
Day 147-Friends across the US
Hey guys,
So, I don't know WHAT it is about this week, but it seems like I'm always sad. Maybe it's the holiday season without Graham, maybe it's the holiday season without Wheaton, maybe it's the fact that all my friends will be home for Christmas break, and I won't, honestly, I don't know. All I know is that I'm sad, I want to go home, I want snow, I want my brother back, so essentially I want a lot of things that I know I can't have. Tonight at church though, I knew Adrienne could kind of tell that I was having "one of those days", because when I'm upset, I tend to just not say anything, which is very strange for me, especially when I'm around Adrienne! Anyways, she pulled me aside after group, and I just broke down, we didn't say much, but her actions tonight to show me that I AM loved here spoke volumes. I miss home, I miss my friends, I miss the town, and YES, I even miss the bitter Chicago cold, but I know, deep, DEEP, down, that this is where I'm supposed to be right now. I am loved here by so many, and I know if I DO end up going to Wheaton for school, it'll be hard to be away from home. I am so blessed to be loved by people not only back home, but here as well. I am blessed to have someone that has spend SO much time with me these past almost 6 months, that she can tell when something's up, even if I don't say so. I feel so lucky to have so many amazing, AMAZING friends who have been with me through absolutely everything, but I've gotta say, it makes living far a way from each other a WHOLE lot harder...:( Anyways, I am happy and sad today, just trying to find a silver lining of some sort...
<3 Always,
Rose
So, I don't know WHAT it is about this week, but it seems like I'm always sad. Maybe it's the holiday season without Graham, maybe it's the holiday season without Wheaton, maybe it's the fact that all my friends will be home for Christmas break, and I won't, honestly, I don't know. All I know is that I'm sad, I want to go home, I want snow, I want my brother back, so essentially I want a lot of things that I know I can't have. Tonight at church though, I knew Adrienne could kind of tell that I was having "one of those days", because when I'm upset, I tend to just not say anything, which is very strange for me, especially when I'm around Adrienne! Anyways, she pulled me aside after group, and I just broke down, we didn't say much, but her actions tonight to show me that I AM loved here spoke volumes. I miss home, I miss my friends, I miss the town, and YES, I even miss the bitter Chicago cold, but I know, deep, DEEP, down, that this is where I'm supposed to be right now. I am loved here by so many, and I know if I DO end up going to Wheaton for school, it'll be hard to be away from home. I am so blessed to be loved by people not only back home, but here as well. I am blessed to have someone that has spend SO much time with me these past almost 6 months, that she can tell when something's up, even if I don't say so. I feel so lucky to have so many amazing, AMAZING friends who have been with me through absolutely everything, but I've gotta say, it makes living far a way from each other a WHOLE lot harder...:( Anyways, I am happy and sad today, just trying to find a silver lining of some sort...
Rose
Tuesday, December 9, 2014
Day 146-BREAK!
Hey guys,
So, I am THRILLED to say that I have officially finished my first college courses, WAHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) Let the Christmas festivities begin :)
So, I am THRILLED to say that I have officially finished my first college courses, WAHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) Let the Christmas festivities begin :)
Monday, December 8, 2014
Day 145-Give me JOY in my heart...
Hey guys,
Today was hard. Alright, that was an understatement, today SUCKED. As I sat on my bed tonight, feeling alone, feeling that familiar ache in my heart, I wished more than anything that I could talk with Graham. So, I pulled out a paper and pen and did the next best thing, I wrote to him. I want to share it with you guys, but fair warning, it's not all gumdrops and lollipops!
Graham,
You've been gone almost two years, but it hasn't gotten any easier. Honestly, it's miserable, and unfair. I wake up every morning and go about my life like nothing's wrong, like everything is just perfect, but in reality, I have a hole in my heart that nothing and no one could ever fill, because I lost my brother. It's not fair! It's not fair that you never saw me graduate high school, or have my first job interview. It's not fair that you'll never get to see me go off to college, you'll never get to see me achieve my dreams, you'll never get to give the "big brother talk" as I head out on my first date, you'll never get to be there as Dad walks me down the aisle. You're going to miss out on so much of my life, and I've already missed out on so much of yours. Each important life event or milestone will hurt, more than anyone could know or imagine, but I have to hold my head high, and soldier on. As life continues to move, I move with it, whether I want to or not. Every day hurts, every hour, every minute, I am without my best friend, and my heart has been shattered. But, I try to pick up the pieces, because I want to be okay again. I want the pain to stop, I want to be happy again, but deep down, in my heart of hearts, I know that it'll never be the same, I will never be as happy as I was before all of this. There will be days like today, where the sadness, shock, grief, and anger just seem like it's too much to bear, so I sit back, and I let the waves of emotions cover me, because I know that it'll happen either way. But then, there will be days when God's rays of peace and of joy will penetrate through the dark, heavy cloud of depression to remind me that there WILL be a day, when there's no more pain, and the two of us will walk down the golden streets of Heaven hand in hand. This whole journey has taught me one BIG thing; joy is NOT synonymous with happiness. Happiness is a mountain top experience, happiness is when everything in your life seems to be going perfect, but most of all, joy is a feeling that is based off of raw emotion. Joy, however is a feeling based off of what we KNOW to be true. Joy is a gift that God gives us, joy is when everything seems to be crashing down around us, but we are at peace, because we can rest in the fact that GOD is in control, and his way is perfect, no matter WHAT. So, on days like today, when it seems impossible for me to be happy, it's hard, because I know you've never STOPPED wanting me to be happy. On days like today, I just have to keep reminding myself how much more important and valuable it is to have joy. As long as I have joy, I can keep going, I can hold my head up and smile, I can take on life's challenges. I know that it's not going to be easy, but I also know that the end result will be so much better than I ever could imagine.
Today was hard. Alright, that was an understatement, today SUCKED. As I sat on my bed tonight, feeling alone, feeling that familiar ache in my heart, I wished more than anything that I could talk with Graham. So, I pulled out a paper and pen and did the next best thing, I wrote to him. I want to share it with you guys, but fair warning, it's not all gumdrops and lollipops!
Graham,
You've been gone almost two years, but it hasn't gotten any easier. Honestly, it's miserable, and unfair. I wake up every morning and go about my life like nothing's wrong, like everything is just perfect, but in reality, I have a hole in my heart that nothing and no one could ever fill, because I lost my brother. It's not fair! It's not fair that you never saw me graduate high school, or have my first job interview. It's not fair that you'll never get to see me go off to college, you'll never get to see me achieve my dreams, you'll never get to give the "big brother talk" as I head out on my first date, you'll never get to be there as Dad walks me down the aisle. You're going to miss out on so much of my life, and I've already missed out on so much of yours. Each important life event or milestone will hurt, more than anyone could know or imagine, but I have to hold my head high, and soldier on. As life continues to move, I move with it, whether I want to or not. Every day hurts, every hour, every minute, I am without my best friend, and my heart has been shattered. But, I try to pick up the pieces, because I want to be okay again. I want the pain to stop, I want to be happy again, but deep down, in my heart of hearts, I know that it'll never be the same, I will never be as happy as I was before all of this. There will be days like today, where the sadness, shock, grief, and anger just seem like it's too much to bear, so I sit back, and I let the waves of emotions cover me, because I know that it'll happen either way. But then, there will be days when God's rays of peace and of joy will penetrate through the dark, heavy cloud of depression to remind me that there WILL be a day, when there's no more pain, and the two of us will walk down the golden streets of Heaven hand in hand. This whole journey has taught me one BIG thing; joy is NOT synonymous with happiness. Happiness is a mountain top experience, happiness is when everything in your life seems to be going perfect, but most of all, joy is a feeling that is based off of raw emotion. Joy, however is a feeling based off of what we KNOW to be true. Joy is a gift that God gives us, joy is when everything seems to be crashing down around us, but we are at peace, because we can rest in the fact that GOD is in control, and his way is perfect, no matter WHAT. So, on days like today, when it seems impossible for me to be happy, it's hard, because I know you've never STOPPED wanting me to be happy. On days like today, I just have to keep reminding myself how much more important and valuable it is to have joy. As long as I have joy, I can keep going, I can hold my head up and smile, I can take on life's challenges. I know that it's not going to be easy, but I also know that the end result will be so much better than I ever could imagine.
<3 Always,
Rose
Sunday, December 7, 2014
Day 144-CELEBRATE!!!
Hey guys!
So, the holiday season can be VERY stressful, as we all know, but tonight at church, I was reminded of the REASON for Christmas. Coming into church, I was in a pretty terrible mood, it looked like another job opportunity was falling apart, I was stressed about the amount of gift making and wrapping I still have to do, and I was so homesick. This is the longest I've EVER gone without snow, and a part of me is still convinced, without snow, it's not Christmas. I am people sick for the family that we normally do holidays with, as long as I can remember, we've ALWAYS done Christmas eve, or Christmas Day, or sometimes both with the LaRusso's, and obviously, that's not going to happen this year. It still seems like it's October to me, it doesn't seem like it COULD be Christmas without snow, or without the bitter cold, or without the LaRusso's, and it just won't be the same! This was my mindset going in, I was disappointed about the job, bitter about still having warm weather, and bitter about NOT being at home with the LaRusso's for Christmas. But, as I pulled into the church parking lot, I saw the high schoolers I work with having a pizza party in someones car. They smiled when they saw me, and invited me over, and it made me feel so loved. As I walked into the church, I was basically attacked by the lovely Adrienne...because she hadn't seen me since this morning, now THAT is love!
We sat and watched the advent skits and plays, laughed at all the jokes and puns, and just enjoyed ourselves. The very last skit basically focused on all the stress, commercialism, business, and work that goes into the holiday of Christmas. We spend so much time worrying about all of these things that we somehow forget what Christmas is REALLY about! Christmas is a time of celebration, a time that we as Christians should be JOYFUL and HAPPY, not stressed and overtired! Without Jesus, there would be NO. CHRISTMAS. So, when we devote so much time and energy into making Christmas great that we forget what it's all about, then what's the point of making it great? When you get to that point, you need to sit down, relax, BREATHE, don't worry about those last few packages that didn't get wrapped, or how many place cards you haven't made for the family dinner, you need to just relax, and be HAPPY, rejoice, and CELEBRATE!
<3 Always,
Rose
So, the holiday season can be VERY stressful, as we all know, but tonight at church, I was reminded of the REASON for Christmas. Coming into church, I was in a pretty terrible mood, it looked like another job opportunity was falling apart, I was stressed about the amount of gift making and wrapping I still have to do, and I was so homesick. This is the longest I've EVER gone without snow, and a part of me is still convinced, without snow, it's not Christmas. I am people sick for the family that we normally do holidays with, as long as I can remember, we've ALWAYS done Christmas eve, or Christmas Day, or sometimes both with the LaRusso's, and obviously, that's not going to happen this year. It still seems like it's October to me, it doesn't seem like it COULD be Christmas without snow, or without the bitter cold, or without the LaRusso's, and it just won't be the same! This was my mindset going in, I was disappointed about the job, bitter about still having warm weather, and bitter about NOT being at home with the LaRusso's for Christmas. But, as I pulled into the church parking lot, I saw the high schoolers I work with having a pizza party in someones car. They smiled when they saw me, and invited me over, and it made me feel so loved. As I walked into the church, I was basically attacked by the lovely Adrienne...because she hadn't seen me since this morning, now THAT is love!
We sat and watched the advent skits and plays, laughed at all the jokes and puns, and just enjoyed ourselves. The very last skit basically focused on all the stress, commercialism, business, and work that goes into the holiday of Christmas. We spend so much time worrying about all of these things that we somehow forget what Christmas is REALLY about! Christmas is a time of celebration, a time that we as Christians should be JOYFUL and HAPPY, not stressed and overtired! Without Jesus, there would be NO. CHRISTMAS. So, when we devote so much time and energy into making Christmas great that we forget what it's all about, then what's the point of making it great? When you get to that point, you need to sit down, relax, BREATHE, don't worry about those last few packages that didn't get wrapped, or how many place cards you haven't made for the family dinner, you need to just relax, and be HAPPY, rejoice, and CELEBRATE!
<3 Always,
Rose
Saturday, December 6, 2014
Day 143- A star is born!!
Hey guys,
So, many of you may not know this, but I am actually NOT the only performer in the Stevens family. Shane, my eight year old brother is really a star in the making, he loves music of any kind, he loves to sing, he is constantly singing, and he loves to act too! Today, Shane had his first viola concert, and he was terrified. On the way up to Boone, where he was performing, he told us that he was worried he would mess up, and he didn't want to do it. As the only other performer in the family at this point, I had to give him "the talk" that all performers have heard. There are 3 MAIN things that I told him: 1. If you mess up, that's ok, just keep going! The audience doesn't know you messed up! 2. Fake it 'til you make it! This basically means, anything and everything could happen while you're performing, but that doesn't matter. Even if your instructor falls off the stage(let's hope that never happens!), you don't stop! and the last one was a bit harder to tell him, 3. If you want to be a musician, a singer, or an actor, you're going to have to get USED to being on stage.
A big reason why it was so hard for me to tell him that was because I was the same way when I was that age. I loved music and making music and acting, but I didn't like to be on stage, I had stage fright! I remember before one of my very first dance recitals, a lot of us were nervous, and our teacher basically told us, that's part of dance. Not only is it a part of dance, but it's a part of performing! There will come a time later in life where you will have to decide if you can take the pressure of being on stage, or if you want to stop. Even at such a young age,(I think I was maybe 6 or 7?)these words struck me, because I KNEW that this is what I loved to do, but at the same time, I knew that the minute those lights would turn on, everyone would be watching me, and I was pretty freaked out.
Looking back on my stage fright now, I'm not quite sure that it ever FULLY went away, I will still get incredibly anxious about how we will sound as a group, but at the same time, I know that because I've done this so many times, and because when it comes down to it, I'm a performer at heart, I know that I will always give my best performance, no matter what. From the minute my foot hits that stage, it's "go time", I know exactly what I've come there to do! The issue with me is this, most of the time, performing is NOT an individual thing, there is a group of us, and we need to ALL work together to give our best, however, sometimes, people aren't willing to give that, or people are too scared, or too unprepared to give that. At this point, for my perfectionist self, I just have to swallow my pride, and know that I did MY best, no matter what other people decided to do!
Today, as I watched Shane from the audience, white faced and looking absolutely miserable, I fought back tears. I know that this is what I probably looked like 13ish years ago as I prepared for my dance recital. I know that deep down, he is eventually going to have to make a decision; can he take the pressure, or does he need to stop performing? I so wish that there was another option, but quite honestly, there isn't! As I sat there, fighting back tears, I remembered how I felt performing at that age, I remember how absolutely terrified I was, but at the same time, I remember how convinced I was that I didn't EVER want to give up performing! I wanted so badly to jump up there and reassure my brother that he didn't have to do it if he didn't want to, but I knew in the back of my mind, if Mom had done that 13 years ago, and told me I didn't have to perform, I probably would've told her that it's what I wanted to do. Sometimes, what you want to do is scary, but that's ok! I know from watching Shane at his lessons and just around the house in general, he has the drive. He has the same passion for performing that I did when I was his age, and that may change, or it may not, but for right now, I know that no matter HOW scared he is, he is going to go out there and give it all he's got, simply because he loves to perform. Throughout the recital, I had a lot of emotions, my heart broke with sympathy, and with fear for him, but at the same time, my heart swelled with pride to see him up there, out of his comfort zone, and doing it anyways. I'd like to say that he's seen that in me when I'm on stage, but I highly doubt that's actually true, honestly, I'm just glad I have someone in my family who shares my passion!
So, many of you may not know this, but I am actually NOT the only performer in the Stevens family. Shane, my eight year old brother is really a star in the making, he loves music of any kind, he loves to sing, he is constantly singing, and he loves to act too! Today, Shane had his first viola concert, and he was terrified. On the way up to Boone, where he was performing, he told us that he was worried he would mess up, and he didn't want to do it. As the only other performer in the family at this point, I had to give him "the talk" that all performers have heard. There are 3 MAIN things that I told him: 1. If you mess up, that's ok, just keep going! The audience doesn't know you messed up! 2. Fake it 'til you make it! This basically means, anything and everything could happen while you're performing, but that doesn't matter. Even if your instructor falls off the stage(let's hope that never happens!), you don't stop! and the last one was a bit harder to tell him, 3. If you want to be a musician, a singer, or an actor, you're going to have to get USED to being on stage.
A big reason why it was so hard for me to tell him that was because I was the same way when I was that age. I loved music and making music and acting, but I didn't like to be on stage, I had stage fright! I remember before one of my very first dance recitals, a lot of us were nervous, and our teacher basically told us, that's part of dance. Not only is it a part of dance, but it's a part of performing! There will come a time later in life where you will have to decide if you can take the pressure of being on stage, or if you want to stop. Even at such a young age,(I think I was maybe 6 or 7?)these words struck me, because I KNEW that this is what I loved to do, but at the same time, I knew that the minute those lights would turn on, everyone would be watching me, and I was pretty freaked out.
Looking back on my stage fright now, I'm not quite sure that it ever FULLY went away, I will still get incredibly anxious about how we will sound as a group, but at the same time, I know that because I've done this so many times, and because when it comes down to it, I'm a performer at heart, I know that I will always give my best performance, no matter what. From the minute my foot hits that stage, it's "go time", I know exactly what I've come there to do! The issue with me is this, most of the time, performing is NOT an individual thing, there is a group of us, and we need to ALL work together to give our best, however, sometimes, people aren't willing to give that, or people are too scared, or too unprepared to give that. At this point, for my perfectionist self, I just have to swallow my pride, and know that I did MY best, no matter what other people decided to do!
Today, as I watched Shane from the audience, white faced and looking absolutely miserable, I fought back tears. I know that this is what I probably looked like 13ish years ago as I prepared for my dance recital. I know that deep down, he is eventually going to have to make a decision; can he take the pressure, or does he need to stop performing? I so wish that there was another option, but quite honestly, there isn't! As I sat there, fighting back tears, I remembered how I felt performing at that age, I remember how absolutely terrified I was, but at the same time, I remember how convinced I was that I didn't EVER want to give up performing! I wanted so badly to jump up there and reassure my brother that he didn't have to do it if he didn't want to, but I knew in the back of my mind, if Mom had done that 13 years ago, and told me I didn't have to perform, I probably would've told her that it's what I wanted to do. Sometimes, what you want to do is scary, but that's ok! I know from watching Shane at his lessons and just around the house in general, he has the drive. He has the same passion for performing that I did when I was his age, and that may change, or it may not, but for right now, I know that no matter HOW scared he is, he is going to go out there and give it all he's got, simply because he loves to perform. Throughout the recital, I had a lot of emotions, my heart broke with sympathy, and with fear for him, but at the same time, my heart swelled with pride to see him up there, out of his comfort zone, and doing it anyways. I'd like to say that he's seen that in me when I'm on stage, but I highly doubt that's actually true, honestly, I'm just glad I have someone in my family who shares my passion!
<3 Always,
Rose
Thursday, December 4, 2014
Day 142-Basketball!!
Hey guys!!
So, tonight, I got to go to one of Jack's basketball games for the first time of the season! It felt so good to see him in his zone, and I truly missed being able to see him play!
<3 Always,
Rose
So, tonight, I got to go to one of Jack's basketball games for the first time of the season! It felt so good to see him in his zone, and I truly missed being able to see him play!
<3 Always,
Rose
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
Day 141-The best youth leader in the world! (Sorry Mark...)
Hey guys,
So, I know that I talk a LOT on my blog about Adrienne, but that's 'cuz, to me, she is more than a youth leader, she is my friend. Beyond that, she's probably my closest friend here...<3 Yeah, she's a good deal older than me, but that's okay :) We are so alike in so many ways that it can be freaky at times, we both LOVE to have fun...and make fun of each other...we can both be very loud and bubbly and energetic at times. When I got back from Chicago, the two of us were sitting in her office and I was telling her about my trip and the senior pastor walks in and goes, "Yeah, I figured Rose was back, it just got REALLY loud..." In the not even 6 months that I've known her, we've already had SO many memories, SO many laughs, and it's basically guaranteed that when I'm around her, I'll have a good time ;) Anyways, as I was sitting in my room starting on her Christmas present, I just realized how incredibly lucky and fortunate I am to have her as a youth leader, she is a truly amazing person, in ways that words can't even describe, so I'm not going to try. If you know her, you understand what I mean, if you don't...you probably should get to know her, because she's pretty fantastic! So as I sat in my room writing this letter to her for Christmas, I just felt so happy and so blessed to have her in my life, I spent a good 2 hours writing this letter to her, THAT is how much she means to me :) Adrienne is one of those people that just wants to know everyone, and sometimes, she succeeds. She truly and genuinely loves each and every student and leader in the youth group, and if we ask to meet with her, she will make it happen. Obviously, she's not going to have enough time to meet with each and every kid in the youth group, but I know a few select students who have asked to meet with her once a week, and she does! Not only this, but she also wants to meet and get to know the parents as well! She truly devotes all her energy and time into what she has been called to do, bringing young people to Christ, and I just really admire that!
<3 Always,
Rose
So, I know that I talk a LOT on my blog about Adrienne, but that's 'cuz, to me, she is more than a youth leader, she is my friend. Beyond that, she's probably my closest friend here...<3 Yeah, she's a good deal older than me, but that's okay :) We are so alike in so many ways that it can be freaky at times, we both LOVE to have fun...and make fun of each other...we can both be very loud and bubbly and energetic at times. When I got back from Chicago, the two of us were sitting in her office and I was telling her about my trip and the senior pastor walks in and goes, "Yeah, I figured Rose was back, it just got REALLY loud..." In the not even 6 months that I've known her, we've already had SO many memories, SO many laughs, and it's basically guaranteed that when I'm around her, I'll have a good time ;) Anyways, as I was sitting in my room starting on her Christmas present, I just realized how incredibly lucky and fortunate I am to have her as a youth leader, she is a truly amazing person, in ways that words can't even describe, so I'm not going to try. If you know her, you understand what I mean, if you don't...you probably should get to know her, because she's pretty fantastic! So as I sat in my room writing this letter to her for Christmas, I just felt so happy and so blessed to have her in my life, I spent a good 2 hours writing this letter to her, THAT is how much she means to me :) Adrienne is one of those people that just wants to know everyone, and sometimes, she succeeds. She truly and genuinely loves each and every student and leader in the youth group, and if we ask to meet with her, she will make it happen. Obviously, she's not going to have enough time to meet with each and every kid in the youth group, but I know a few select students who have asked to meet with her once a week, and she does! Not only this, but she also wants to meet and get to know the parents as well! She truly devotes all her energy and time into what she has been called to do, bringing young people to Christ, and I just really admire that!
<3 Always,
Rose
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
Day 140- Getting my craft on!
Hey guys!
So, as a college student with no job, I literally have NO money, which makes the holidays...interesting? I have decided to make all my presents by hand this year, but I've been seriously procrastinating actually sitting down and DOING it. So today, I spent a good 4-5 hours on the little boys present, and I'm proud to say that with a little bit of work tomorrow, it will be DONE!! YAY!!!!! I would seriously recommend for those of you college kids who have no money, make your own things! I was able to go out to the dollar store and Wal-Mart, and get all the supplies I needed for my families gifts for only $20!! It was fantastic. Also, being the crafty and creative person that I am, I am REALLY enjoying being able to invest a good amount of time and energy into each and every gift I give out this year, I didn't just go to the toy or clothes section at Wal-Mart and get the first thing I saw!
<3 Always,
Rose
So, as a college student with no job, I literally have NO money, which makes the holidays...interesting? I have decided to make all my presents by hand this year, but I've been seriously procrastinating actually sitting down and DOING it. So today, I spent a good 4-5 hours on the little boys present, and I'm proud to say that with a little bit of work tomorrow, it will be DONE!! YAY!!!!! I would seriously recommend for those of you college kids who have no money, make your own things! I was able to go out to the dollar store and Wal-Mart, and get all the supplies I needed for my families gifts for only $20!! It was fantastic. Also, being the crafty and creative person that I am, I am REALLY enjoying being able to invest a good amount of time and energy into each and every gift I give out this year, I didn't just go to the toy or clothes section at Wal-Mart and get the first thing I saw!
<3 Always,
Rose
Day 139-Kady(again...)
Hey guys,
So, I know I JUST blogged about Kady, but...she's pretty amazing. So here it goes, today(or yesterday, because I'm behind as usual...) we drove into Hickory for lunch. For those of you who DON'T live in Lenoir, you don't realize the true struggle it is to find good resturaunts in Lenoir, so for us, going to Chipotle is basically like Christmas. ANYWAYS, we went to Chipotle AND to Starbucks(aka Starbies...I had to explain to Kady why I kept calling it that, thanks Abby!), which basically made my life. Not only was the food amazing, but it was so amazing to be with Kady again after not seeing each other since...June(?)...we are so SO very excited for our next get together, and because I'll finally probably have my smartphone by then, pictures will be posted :)
<3 Always,
Rose
So, I know I JUST blogged about Kady, but...she's pretty amazing. So here it goes, today(or yesterday, because I'm behind as usual...) we drove into Hickory for lunch. For those of you who DON'T live in Lenoir, you don't realize the true struggle it is to find good resturaunts in Lenoir, so for us, going to Chipotle is basically like Christmas. ANYWAYS, we went to Chipotle AND to Starbucks(aka Starbies...I had to explain to Kady why I kept calling it that, thanks Abby!), which basically made my life. Not only was the food amazing, but it was so amazing to be with Kady again after not seeing each other since...June(?)...we are so SO very excited for our next get together, and because I'll finally probably have my smartphone by then, pictures will be posted :)
<3 Always,
Rose
Sunday, November 30, 2014
Day 138-THROWBACK!!!!
Hey guys,
I don't know about you, but it's always been weird for me to think that BOTH my parents actually had lives BEFORE kids....I know that sounds incredibly self-centered, but c'mon, be honest, I'm probably not the only one! Anyways, like with my Dad, I always forget that he is actually an INCREDIBLY talented artist! Tonight, he was going through all his art pieces from high-school and college, and it was awesome! It was so much fun to hear him go back and reminisce about each and every art piece that was in his portfolio, and a great reminder to me that, yes, Dad did INDEED have a life before Caroline, despite what we tend to think...
<3 Always,
Rose
I don't know about you, but it's always been weird for me to think that BOTH my parents actually had lives BEFORE kids....I know that sounds incredibly self-centered, but c'mon, be honest, I'm probably not the only one! Anyways, like with my Dad, I always forget that he is actually an INCREDIBLY talented artist! Tonight, he was going through all his art pieces from high-school and college, and it was awesome! It was so much fun to hear him go back and reminisce about each and every art piece that was in his portfolio, and a great reminder to me that, yes, Dad did INDEED have a life before Caroline, despite what we tend to think...
<3 Always,
Rose
Day 137- Being Thankful
Hey guys,
So, I realized as I was writing these just how lucky I am. I struggled to come up with ONLY six things or people to talk about, I am blessed beyond words! I've got amazing friends, an awesome family, and so many blessings in my life! Thaksgiving in the time to realize that, and for me this year, that's exactly what happened!!
<3 Always,
Rose
So, I realized as I was writing these just how lucky I am. I struggled to come up with ONLY six things or people to talk about, I am blessed beyond words! I've got amazing friends, an awesome family, and so many blessings in my life! Thaksgiving in the time to realize that, and for me this year, that's exactly what happened!!
<3 Always,
Rose
Day 136- Small group
Hey guys,
One of my favorite moments of my entire trip actually has nothing to do with the trip itself, except for the fact that it happened while we were there. On the way back from my Grandparents Friday night, I got a call from one of my closest friends. It turns out that my ENTIRE senior small group had gotten together, and they put me on speaker so I could talk with everyone, and it just warmed my heart like no other. I am so lucky to have such amazing friends that continue to love me and think about me from afar, and remember to conference me in whenever they get together, THAT is love :)
<3 Always,
Rose
One of my favorite moments of my entire trip actually has nothing to do with the trip itself, except for the fact that it happened while we were there. On the way back from my Grandparents Friday night, I got a call from one of my closest friends. It turns out that my ENTIRE senior small group had gotten together, and they put me on speaker so I could talk with everyone, and it just warmed my heart like no other. I am so lucky to have such amazing friends that continue to love me and think about me from afar, and remember to conference me in whenever they get together, THAT is love :)
<3 Always,
Rose
Day 135- Brynn
Hey guys,
One of my favorite things about Thanksgiving is being able to see how my cousin Jill's daughter, Brynn is growing up! This was the first thanksgiving that she was actually willing to talk to us, and may I say, thank goodness, because she says some pretty flipping adorable things...:) Here are the 5 Brynn quotes from this week:
1. Talking with Caroline, "I want to be just like Mommy, I want to be a Mommy, a writer....and...a RAM!
2. Making her dolls dance, "My dollies are going to dance til dawn!!"
3. Talking to Aedon, "Aedon, do you want to be my friend?" Aedon:"...sure..."
4. Caroline asked her something, "No thank you, I'm playing with Rose right now..."
5. Caroline would swing her around and upside down and she would just say, "WHAT'S GOING ON??!!"
Three year olds are quite easily the most fantastic thing in the world, and I love the she is MINE!:)
One of my favorite things about Thanksgiving is being able to see how my cousin Jill's daughter, Brynn is growing up! This was the first thanksgiving that she was actually willing to talk to us, and may I say, thank goodness, because she says some pretty flipping adorable things...:) Here are the 5 Brynn quotes from this week:
1. Talking with Caroline, "I want to be just like Mommy, I want to be a Mommy, a writer....and...a RAM!
2. Making her dolls dance, "My dollies are going to dance til dawn!!"
3. Talking to Aedon, "Aedon, do you want to be my friend?" Aedon:"...sure..."
4. Caroline asked her something, "No thank you, I'm playing with Rose right now..."
5. Caroline would swing her around and upside down and she would just say, "WHAT'S GOING ON??!!"
Three year olds are quite easily the most fantastic thing in the world, and I love the she is MINE!:)
<3 Always,
Rose
Day 134- Aunt Kathy
Hey guys,
Throughout the whole trip, my sister and I were so grateful for all that Aunt Kathy did for us. She opened up her house to us, she had a warm meal waiting for us when we FINALLY got to KC, and she just genuinely LOVES us. Ever since about middle school, Aunt Kathy has made it a tradition to take all the girls(Caroline, her daughter Jill, and I) Black Friday shopping, and then out to coffee afterwards. Every year since then, for both me and Caroline, our highlight of the trip has been Black Friday morning, being able to go out JUST the four of us girls and enjoy our time together. My sister, I believe, takes after Aunt Kathy quite a bit, because Aunt Kathy has this crazy ability to make the best out of every situation. For instance, as we were leaving Jill's house after Thanksgiving day, Aunt Kathy somehow managed to smack her nose on the car trunk, and instead of getting mad or frustrated, she just started laughing. In her own words, "Life is never EVER boring with me around..."
<3 Always,
Rose
Throughout the whole trip, my sister and I were so grateful for all that Aunt Kathy did for us. She opened up her house to us, she had a warm meal waiting for us when we FINALLY got to KC, and she just genuinely LOVES us. Ever since about middle school, Aunt Kathy has made it a tradition to take all the girls(Caroline, her daughter Jill, and I) Black Friday shopping, and then out to coffee afterwards. Every year since then, for both me and Caroline, our highlight of the trip has been Black Friday morning, being able to go out JUST the four of us girls and enjoy our time together. My sister, I believe, takes after Aunt Kathy quite a bit, because Aunt Kathy has this crazy ability to make the best out of every situation. For instance, as we were leaving Jill's house after Thanksgiving day, Aunt Kathy somehow managed to smack her nose on the car trunk, and instead of getting mad or frustrated, she just started laughing. In her own words, "Life is never EVER boring with me around..."
<3 Always,
Rose
Day 133- My sister
Hey guys,
So, the first few days of our trip were...interesting, to say the least. We had planned to stay overnight for a few days in TN on the way there in a place called Wigwam Village. We didn't realize, it was like ACTUALLY a Wigwam Village...we were NOT happy. For those of you that have seen Cars, picture the Cozy Cone, and that's basically where we stayed for two nights. To make matters worse, we had just gotten off 7 hours of driving, we were hungry, overtired, grumpy, AND we had just learned that we would be essentially living in a heated teepee for a few nights...FUN. The one good thing, for me at least, was the fact that my sister Caroline, is one of those people that can take a terrible situation and just make the best of it. Despite our anger and disappointment about our situation, Caroline never stopped smiling, or looking for ways to make our stay a BIT more enjoyable, even though we were all miserable. For instance, the next day, as we were taking a tour of Mammoth Cave, Aedon looks down and realizes that he only has one shoe on, and his other shoe must have fallen off somewhere in the cave, so while Mom and Dad begin FREAKING OUT, Caroline just sits there, looks at Aedon, and starts laughing. There are some times in life where your situation is so absolutely ridiculous that you just can't help but laugh, and this was one of those times...
<3 Always,
Rose
So, the first few days of our trip were...interesting, to say the least. We had planned to stay overnight for a few days in TN on the way there in a place called Wigwam Village. We didn't realize, it was like ACTUALLY a Wigwam Village...we were NOT happy. For those of you that have seen Cars, picture the Cozy Cone, and that's basically where we stayed for two nights. To make matters worse, we had just gotten off 7 hours of driving, we were hungry, overtired, grumpy, AND we had just learned that we would be essentially living in a heated teepee for a few nights...FUN. The one good thing, for me at least, was the fact that my sister Caroline, is one of those people that can take a terrible situation and just make the best of it. Despite our anger and disappointment about our situation, Caroline never stopped smiling, or looking for ways to make our stay a BIT more enjoyable, even though we were all miserable. For instance, the next day, as we were taking a tour of Mammoth Cave, Aedon looks down and realizes that he only has one shoe on, and his other shoe must have fallen off somewhere in the cave, so while Mom and Dad begin FREAKING OUT, Caroline just sits there, looks at Aedon, and starts laughing. There are some times in life where your situation is so absolutely ridiculous that you just can't help but laugh, and this was one of those times...
<3 Always,
Rose
Day 132- Kady :)
Hey guys,
So, because I was out of town for the past 6 days, I didn't have much internet access, so I'm going to do one post for each day I was gone, like I did when I was in Chicago. The first post goes out to someone who was basically ALWAYS texting me throughout the past 6 days, and has never ceased to bring a smile to my face. Last night, on hour 15 of our car trip home, I was dying, it was bad...so I texted her, "Hour 15...SEND HELP!!" and she simply responded, "Well, I guess that means I'll go to Chipotle by myself on Monday..." THAT is a typical Kady Braswell thing to say, and THAT is why I love her SOOOOOOOO much!!!! Kady is one of those people that always, ALWAYS has a smile on her face, and she's always looking to bring a smile to someone else's face. She's also one of the very few people I know who can ACTUALLY be as sarcastic and sassy as me sometimes, so we love to give each other a hard time ;) Can't wait to eat burritos with you tomorrow Kady!!!! Hopefully none of them will be crying and mourning the other's loss....;)
<3 Always,
Rose
So, because I was out of town for the past 6 days, I didn't have much internet access, so I'm going to do one post for each day I was gone, like I did when I was in Chicago. The first post goes out to someone who was basically ALWAYS texting me throughout the past 6 days, and has never ceased to bring a smile to my face. Last night, on hour 15 of our car trip home, I was dying, it was bad...so I texted her, "Hour 15...SEND HELP!!" and she simply responded, "Well, I guess that means I'll go to Chipotle by myself on Monday..." THAT is a typical Kady Braswell thing to say, and THAT is why I love her SOOOOOOOO much!!!! Kady is one of those people that always, ALWAYS has a smile on her face, and she's always looking to bring a smile to someone else's face. She's also one of the very few people I know who can ACTUALLY be as sarcastic and sassy as me sometimes, so we love to give each other a hard time ;) Can't wait to eat burritos with you tomorrow Kady!!!! Hopefully none of them will be crying and mourning the other's loss....;)
<3 Always,
Rose
Sunday, November 23, 2014
Day 131-The reason for the season.
Hey guys,
So, because Lenoir is SO tiny, and because of the fact that industrialization has moved overseas, there is a lot of poverty in Lenoir. As the leaders met before youth group, I found out that 97% of one of the elementary schools in our area is on the free lunch and free breakfast plan, isn't that sad? Anyways, as a youth group tonight, we were able to make four of those impoverished children's dream come true, because instead of shopping for ourselves this holiday season, we went out with 30 middle school and high school students to go buy presents for these kids. It was so very cool to see just how excited these students were to help others, it was so heartwarming to me! This right here, THIS is the reason for the season :)
<3 Always,
Rose
So, because Lenoir is SO tiny, and because of the fact that industrialization has moved overseas, there is a lot of poverty in Lenoir. As the leaders met before youth group, I found out that 97% of one of the elementary schools in our area is on the free lunch and free breakfast plan, isn't that sad? Anyways, as a youth group tonight, we were able to make four of those impoverished children's dream come true, because instead of shopping for ourselves this holiday season, we went out with 30 middle school and high school students to go buy presents for these kids. It was so very cool to see just how excited these students were to help others, it was so heartwarming to me! This right here, THIS is the reason for the season :)
<3 Always,
Rose
Saturday, November 22, 2014
Day 130- Shopping!!!
Hey guys,
So, because I haven't made any money in the past 5 and a half months, I knew going in that Christmas would be rough. Today, I decided that I wanted to at least get STARTED on some of my presents, because since they're handmade, some of them will take a while. So, my parents very generously offered to pay, but they also said I had a 20 dollar limit, PERIOD. For 6 people, that comes out to a little bit less than 5 dollars a person, so if you're a friend of mine...I'm sorry in advance, but I'm broke, and therefore will be making you all cards for Christmas...:P Anyways, so I went out, on a mission to get at least a FEW supplies on my list, and I came back four hours later with ALL the supplies I need for my presents this year, AND I got it all for EXACTLY $20, I was very proud :) For those all you college students with no money, first off, pintrest will be your savior, that's all I can say, and secondly, DOLLAR. STORE!!!! Anyways, so that made me super excited that not only do I not have to worry about how I'm going to afford presents all through the holiday season(because I already have them), but I also won't have to rush to finish them all!! Yay me :)
<3 Always,
Rose
So, because I haven't made any money in the past 5 and a half months, I knew going in that Christmas would be rough. Today, I decided that I wanted to at least get STARTED on some of my presents, because since they're handmade, some of them will take a while. So, my parents very generously offered to pay, but they also said I had a 20 dollar limit, PERIOD. For 6 people, that comes out to a little bit less than 5 dollars a person, so if you're a friend of mine...I'm sorry in advance, but I'm broke, and therefore will be making you all cards for Christmas...:P Anyways, so I went out, on a mission to get at least a FEW supplies on my list, and I came back four hours later with ALL the supplies I need for my presents this year, AND I got it all for EXACTLY $20, I was very proud :) For those all you college students with no money, first off, pintrest will be your savior, that's all I can say, and secondly, DOLLAR. STORE!!!! Anyways, so that made me super excited that not only do I not have to worry about how I'm going to afford presents all through the holiday season(because I already have them), but I also won't have to rush to finish them all!! Yay me :)
<3 Always,
Rose
Friday, November 21, 2014
Day 129-Baking!
Hey guys,
So, lately I've been getting into the holiday spirit full on, and today was no different! We are having company over, and my Mom and I found a cake-pop maker at Aldi...conclusion? I spent 3 and a half hours in the kitchen ATTEMPTING to make dessert for our guests tomorrow! Although, depending on how these turn out, I may just go back to the old fashioned way of making them by hand, more hassle, but I'm leaving a LOT less to fate...;) Anyways, when the holidays are happening, I am know to make all sorts of treats, but mainly brownies, and cake-pops. There was one week where I had to make two different batches of cake-pops for some of the holiday parties I was going to! For many, that may not seem like a big deal, but making cake-pops is a multiple day ordeal, you have to cook the cake, wait for it to cool, mix in the frosting, roll the cake/frosting mixture into balls, freeze them overnight, and then cover them with candy coating in the morning, it's a LOT of work! But I love it, because it makes me happy. :) Fingers crossed that my cake-pops decide they're going to cooperate, because this is my first time using the machine...if they don't work, we also have a Resse's cupcake mix that I could make...:P
<3 Always,
Rose
So, lately I've been getting into the holiday spirit full on, and today was no different! We are having company over, and my Mom and I found a cake-pop maker at Aldi...conclusion? I spent 3 and a half hours in the kitchen ATTEMPTING to make dessert for our guests tomorrow! Although, depending on how these turn out, I may just go back to the old fashioned way of making them by hand, more hassle, but I'm leaving a LOT less to fate...;) Anyways, when the holidays are happening, I am know to make all sorts of treats, but mainly brownies, and cake-pops. There was one week where I had to make two different batches of cake-pops for some of the holiday parties I was going to! For many, that may not seem like a big deal, but making cake-pops is a multiple day ordeal, you have to cook the cake, wait for it to cool, mix in the frosting, roll the cake/frosting mixture into balls, freeze them overnight, and then cover them with candy coating in the morning, it's a LOT of work! But I love it, because it makes me happy. :) Fingers crossed that my cake-pops decide they're going to cooperate, because this is my first time using the machine...if they don't work, we also have a Resse's cupcake mix that I could make...:P
<3 Always,
Rose
Thursday, November 20, 2014
Day 128- Being a Friend
Hey guys,
So, I'm not quite sure WHY this is, but for as long as I can remember, if my friends had a problem,they would come to me. Seriously, I cannot even tell you how many arguments and hurt feelings I helped solve out there on the playground...but sometimes, sometimes it's just too much. Because of my personality, when people come to me with issues, my heart breaks for them, and I want to do anything and everything I can to make it better, so when there are times that I can't, it is really hard. Unfortunately, today was one of those days, I was dealing with so many different issues that my friends were having that my mind was just spinning, and I didn't know WHAT to do. Then I realized, you know what? Maybe this is a gift! Maybe this is a way for God to use me to speak to them! Maybe I get so emotional and involved in their lives because quite simply, I care about them THAT much! Obviously, I struggle with my own issues and my own problems in life, and I'm no stranger to seeking out people that will listen, so now it's my turn. Even if I don't know quite what to say or how to say it, that's ok, because sometimes people just need someone that will LISTEN. I am so glad that I can be that person for a lot of my friends, no matter how stressful it gets, because honestly? It's humbling! These people are coming to ME, because they have seen the way I try to live my life in a way that is honoring to God, and they're asking me, "What would YOU do in this situation?" that's pretty cool! It's a big responsibility, but I believe that God wouldn't have given it to me if I couldn't handle it. The one thing I need to do is make sure that it isn't about me, it's not Rose's Help Hotline, rather, it's God using me to speak his word into someone else's life, so I need to make sure that what I tell my friends when they come to me is rooted in scripture, and do my best to show them a God honoring way to deal with things. All in all, yes, today was crazy, CRAZY, and there were times when I DID have to just turn my phone off and trust that that would be ok, there are times when honestly, I have NO IDEA to help them, and that is ok, I need to come to grips with the idea that I'm NOT going to be able to help everyone, but with God's help, I can try my best, and that's good enough.
<3 Always,
Rose
So, I'm not quite sure WHY this is, but for as long as I can remember, if my friends had a problem,they would come to me. Seriously, I cannot even tell you how many arguments and hurt feelings I helped solve out there on the playground...but sometimes, sometimes it's just too much. Because of my personality, when people come to me with issues, my heart breaks for them, and I want to do anything and everything I can to make it better, so when there are times that I can't, it is really hard. Unfortunately, today was one of those days, I was dealing with so many different issues that my friends were having that my mind was just spinning, and I didn't know WHAT to do. Then I realized, you know what? Maybe this is a gift! Maybe this is a way for God to use me to speak to them! Maybe I get so emotional and involved in their lives because quite simply, I care about them THAT much! Obviously, I struggle with my own issues and my own problems in life, and I'm no stranger to seeking out people that will listen, so now it's my turn. Even if I don't know quite what to say or how to say it, that's ok, because sometimes people just need someone that will LISTEN. I am so glad that I can be that person for a lot of my friends, no matter how stressful it gets, because honestly? It's humbling! These people are coming to ME, because they have seen the way I try to live my life in a way that is honoring to God, and they're asking me, "What would YOU do in this situation?" that's pretty cool! It's a big responsibility, but I believe that God wouldn't have given it to me if I couldn't handle it. The one thing I need to do is make sure that it isn't about me, it's not Rose's Help Hotline, rather, it's God using me to speak his word into someone else's life, so I need to make sure that what I tell my friends when they come to me is rooted in scripture, and do my best to show them a God honoring way to deal with things. All in all, yes, today was crazy, CRAZY, and there were times when I DID have to just turn my phone off and trust that that would be ok, there are times when honestly, I have NO IDEA to help them, and that is ok, I need to come to grips with the idea that I'm NOT going to be able to help everyone, but with God's help, I can try my best, and that's good enough.
<3 Always,
Rose
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
Day 127- The Case for Christ
Hey guys,
So, tonight at church, we were talking alot about a book called "The Case For Christ", and it was very interesting to me, and got me super excited!!! Anyways, when we had finished, the speaker mentioned to me that our youth leader, Adrienne has about 6 copies of this book, so tonight, I came home with a case for Christ, and I am SOOOO excited to read it!!!!!
<3 Always,
Rose
So, tonight at church, we were talking alot about a book called "The Case For Christ", and it was very interesting to me, and got me super excited!!! Anyways, when we had finished, the speaker mentioned to me that our youth leader, Adrienne has about 6 copies of this book, so tonight, I came home with a case for Christ, and I am SOOOO excited to read it!!!!!
<3 Always,
Rose
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Day 126- Get in the Holiday Spirit!!
Hey guys,
So, I dunno, maybe it's just me, but when I comes to the Holidays, I get PUMPED!!!! I love the feel of sitting around the fire sipping hot cocoa, or teaching the boys how awesome it is to lay underneath the Christmas tree(it's really, REALLY cool), or watching White Christmas with the family, I love it all. I love that it is the season for GIVING, because that is what I really love to do, I love to buy things for others, so Christmas/the holidays are like my best friend. Although there's not snow here yet(and we're told there probably will NOT be snow in time for Christmas...which lead us to discuss the possibility of getting a snow machine...), the fact is, we do INDEED leave for Kansas City to celebrate Thanksgiving with my Dad's side of the family in 6 short days, and in my mind, that means the holidays are coming! I am so excited to be able to celebrate both Thanksgiving AND Christmas with extended family, for the first time in my life, it should be a blast! I know, there are people that can't handle Christmas music in November, but there are days when I'm just like, you know what? I don't care if it's July, Christmas music makes me happy, so THAT'S what I'm going to listen to! So yes, I am one of those obnoxious people who basically listen to Christmas music year round. I know that this year will be different, but I also know that we can make it as good as we want to, different is NOT always bad! For instance, we have a LOT more windows and doors to put paper snowflakes on, even though it won't be seen by very many people, who cares! Also, Jack and I will potentially be able to help Dad put up lights, because almost every window on the second floor has roof access! In essence, I am VERY excited for Christmas this year, I've already started a Christmas list, like a little kid, but let's face it; I'm a kid at heart! It will be nice to actually potentially ENJOY being outside in the winter, as opposed to being wrapped up like eskimos to walk 300 feet and get into the car...Christmas is a time for giving, a time for families, a time for happiness, a time for laughter, a time for fireplaces, but it is NOT a time for commercialism, it is not about what we get, rather it's about what we GIVE, and whether we spend our holidays doing something that we actually ENJOY!
<3 Always,
Rose
So, I dunno, maybe it's just me, but when I comes to the Holidays, I get PUMPED!!!! I love the feel of sitting around the fire sipping hot cocoa, or teaching the boys how awesome it is to lay underneath the Christmas tree(it's really, REALLY cool), or watching White Christmas with the family, I love it all. I love that it is the season for GIVING, because that is what I really love to do, I love to buy things for others, so Christmas/the holidays are like my best friend. Although there's not snow here yet(and we're told there probably will NOT be snow in time for Christmas...which lead us to discuss the possibility of getting a snow machine...), the fact is, we do INDEED leave for Kansas City to celebrate Thanksgiving with my Dad's side of the family in 6 short days, and in my mind, that means the holidays are coming! I am so excited to be able to celebrate both Thanksgiving AND Christmas with extended family, for the first time in my life, it should be a blast! I know, there are people that can't handle Christmas music in November, but there are days when I'm just like, you know what? I don't care if it's July, Christmas music makes me happy, so THAT'S what I'm going to listen to! So yes, I am one of those obnoxious people who basically listen to Christmas music year round. I know that this year will be different, but I also know that we can make it as good as we want to, different is NOT always bad! For instance, we have a LOT more windows and doors to put paper snowflakes on, even though it won't be seen by very many people, who cares! Also, Jack and I will potentially be able to help Dad put up lights, because almost every window on the second floor has roof access! In essence, I am VERY excited for Christmas this year, I've already started a Christmas list, like a little kid, but let's face it; I'm a kid at heart! It will be nice to actually potentially ENJOY being outside in the winter, as opposed to being wrapped up like eskimos to walk 300 feet and get into the car...Christmas is a time for giving, a time for families, a time for happiness, a time for laughter, a time for fireplaces, but it is NOT a time for commercialism, it is not about what we get, rather it's about what we GIVE, and whether we spend our holidays doing something that we actually ENJOY!
<3 Always,
Rose
Monday, November 17, 2014
Day 125-God's goodness to US
Hey guys,
So, can I just ask you something? Who are WE to question GOD when things go wrong? What is it about human nature that instantly assumes absolute authority? Because the last time I checked, we as humans are lucky to wake up every morning! Not to mention, we Americans who wake up in our heated homes, in our queen sized beds, in our master bedrooms complete with a TV, and yet, if ANYTHING goes wrong, all the sudden it's GOD to blame? Like God hasn't given enough to us already? Like God didn't already give us the ULTIMATE sacrifice of his SON so that WE could live? Honestly, I know it's something I do, because I am human, but it still bothers me. It bothers me that as I look through my dresser and closet that is stuffed full of clothes, I somehow have nothing to wear, as I walk down to breakfast, and start to ransack the kitchen that is filled with food, there is somehow "nothing" to eat. I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, because honestly, we all do it, it's human nature, and that's ok! There are times however, that we do need to stop and be thankful not only for the things we have, but for the LIFE we have. God did not NEED humans, God was not LONELY, because he wasn't alone, he was with the Trinity. Rather, God CHOSE to create us, KNOWING that we would sin and fall short of the glory of God, so who are we to be upset with him? God does everything that he does for a reason, no matter how big or small, but the problem is that we as humans cannot see or understand the reasoning behind what he does, so we therefore question it. Think back to the times when you were a kid, and your parents told you not to climb on the furniture. At the time, you could not understand the reason WHY it wasn't a good idea to climb on the furniture, but looking back now, you can see why that would be a bad idea. Frankly, to God, we are just like those little children, helpless, and honestly, clueless. Have you ever watched a suspense or action movie, and you KNOW if the main character takes one more step, he will be blown to smithereens? That is what God does to us sometimes in our lives, he challenges us, he presents us with obstacles and struggles in our lives, but at the same time, he KNOWS how far to go, he knows the exact position of that "bomb", when everything is just too much, and he will NOT put us there! So, I think that we as humans are fairly ignorant of what is going on in God's plan around us, and we need to remember that. We need to remember that when the world seems like it's going to cave in, first off, it's NOT, God wouldn't let that happen, and secondly, our situation is just a small SLIVER of God's plan, it may seem bad now, but in the end, it is all for the good of those who love God.
<3 Always,
Rose
So, can I just ask you something? Who are WE to question GOD when things go wrong? What is it about human nature that instantly assumes absolute authority? Because the last time I checked, we as humans are lucky to wake up every morning! Not to mention, we Americans who wake up in our heated homes, in our queen sized beds, in our master bedrooms complete with a TV, and yet, if ANYTHING goes wrong, all the sudden it's GOD to blame? Like God hasn't given enough to us already? Like God didn't already give us the ULTIMATE sacrifice of his SON so that WE could live? Honestly, I know it's something I do, because I am human, but it still bothers me. It bothers me that as I look through my dresser and closet that is stuffed full of clothes, I somehow have nothing to wear, as I walk down to breakfast, and start to ransack the kitchen that is filled with food, there is somehow "nothing" to eat. I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, because honestly, we all do it, it's human nature, and that's ok! There are times however, that we do need to stop and be thankful not only for the things we have, but for the LIFE we have. God did not NEED humans, God was not LONELY, because he wasn't alone, he was with the Trinity. Rather, God CHOSE to create us, KNOWING that we would sin and fall short of the glory of God, so who are we to be upset with him? God does everything that he does for a reason, no matter how big or small, but the problem is that we as humans cannot see or understand the reasoning behind what he does, so we therefore question it. Think back to the times when you were a kid, and your parents told you not to climb on the furniture. At the time, you could not understand the reason WHY it wasn't a good idea to climb on the furniture, but looking back now, you can see why that would be a bad idea. Frankly, to God, we are just like those little children, helpless, and honestly, clueless. Have you ever watched a suspense or action movie, and you KNOW if the main character takes one more step, he will be blown to smithereens? That is what God does to us sometimes in our lives, he challenges us, he presents us with obstacles and struggles in our lives, but at the same time, he KNOWS how far to go, he knows the exact position of that "bomb", when everything is just too much, and he will NOT put us there! So, I think that we as humans are fairly ignorant of what is going on in God's plan around us, and we need to remember that. We need to remember that when the world seems like it's going to cave in, first off, it's NOT, God wouldn't let that happen, and secondly, our situation is just a small SLIVER of God's plan, it may seem bad now, but in the end, it is all for the good of those who love God.
<3 Always,
Rose
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