Day 158-A New Day

Hey guys,

    So, Friday was spent basically sulking/sobbing in my room, and to tell you the truth, in my heart of hearts, I felt terrible doing it. Who am I to be complaining that one TINY little thing didn't go my way? Am I not lucky to even wake up every morning? Am I not blessed to have seen God SO many times in these past two years? So...what am I complaining about? A part of me knew that I had every right to feel in the moment, I have every right to be sad, in the moment. But I also have to realize that that time of such raw feeling can only last so long. There comes a time when I DO have to drag myself out of bed and tell myself, "Rose, there are more important things in life than Wheaton College, but more than that, there are more important things in life than Rose Stevens. Today is a new day, let's make it better!" That was truly my attitude as I woke up this morning. Am I still upset? Yup. Am I still angry and frustrated? Heck yeah. Am I still freaking out because I have no idea where I'll be next year? YES! But that's ok. Because everyone has those worries and feelings, and they all know that somehow, some way, thing's will get better. So today, I had the mission to do two things; stop feeling sorry for myself, and concentrate on the here and now. Tonight, we served the homeless and low-income people in our area dinner through our church, and that was so humbling. 24 hours before, I had been so caught up in why I couldn't get into Wheaton, or where I would go to college, and here I was, serving dinner to people who had never even DREAMED of going to college. People who have days like I had yesterday EVERY DAY, and yet, somehow find a way to smile at the end of it. I was serving people who have seen so much hardship and struggle in their lives, they could probably write a book, and 24 hours earlier, I was in my bed sobbing because I didn't get accepted to Wheaton, which doesn't even mean I won't be accepted later?? Talk about first world problems!! Today, I was humbly reminded that my life, it's actually not mine. My friends, my family, my home, they're all temporary. My life is and should always be CHRIST living through me, I am a humble vessel, and that is all.

<3 Always,
Rose